Friday, October 31, 2008

Still More Tales To Give You Goosebumps



Still More Tales to Give You Goosebumps
(Goosebumps Special Edition #4)


Back Tagline: Reader Beware--You're In For Ten Halloween Scares!

Official Book Description:
Will Charlie's recipe for pumpkin juice cause him some hair-raising terror? Are Dave's awesome ants biting off more than they can chew? Can Max's Halloween wish turn him into an endangered species?


This book originally came packaged with plastic glow-in-the-dark fangs, a makeup kit, fake skin (carefully labeled as "fake"), a fake scar, and green blood. I'm pretty sure that description of Halloween costume-related freebies contains more scares than any story within this collection. But don't take my word for it, take my word for it:


Pumpkin Juice
Charlie and Frank are preparing to go out trick-or-treating. Before they leave though, Frank wants to whip up a special beverage from a recipe he found in a booklet. If only Jack Chick had thought ahead and included recipes in his tracts, he could have completely corned this market. Frank's tract has the needlessly verbose title of Monster Brews to Bring Out the Best in You on Halloween, and the recipe he is dying to try out is called, you guessed it, Eggnog.

I know what you're thinking, How can I make my own Pumpkin Juice?

Pumpkin Juice Supreme
(Serves ages 9-12)
Ingredients:
The flesh of a pumpkin
Milk
Molasses
Butter
Garlic
Chicken Broth

I know what you're thinking, How can I not make my own Pumpkin Juice?

This disgusting mixture causes the children to turn into what else but hungry werewolves. They go from door to door in the neighborhood, ingesting candy and eventually trash and worms and raw meat. Great. Charlie then spies his dog Scout. Overcome with something stronger than Sweetheart Fever, Charlie tries to enjoy a Scout nibble. Thankfully the reader is spared a child eating a dog-- though at the rate the series goes, I'm sure Goosebumps 3000 will be filled with nothing but.

Turns out the only way to reverse the effectiveness of the Pumpkin Juice is to concoct another recipe-- only you must use the flesh of the same pumpkin! Charlie and Frank race home, only to discover Charlie's mom had baked the pumpkin into a pie. The kids discover the pie's ingredients are identical to the antidote, and the two greedily gulp the whole thing down. Once they finish, Charlie's mom tells them how much she loved their juice, but boy is she hungry! Wait, a werewolf story that ends with someone else being turned into a werewolf? Well, now there's a lace-lined gold-lettered invitation to sarcasm!

Trick or Treat? Trick


Attack of the Tattoo
Jeannie is a little disappointed in her trick-or-treating haul this year. No big candy bars, cool toothbrushes, or unwashed fruit. But she did get a really gnarly looking fake tattoo of a snake! Unfortunately, she can't get the tattoo to stick to her skin. After much time spent with the small slip of paper, she notices a special 3-D message telling her that the only way to get it to stick is to use water warmed by the sun. She carries a bottle of water outside and sure enough, she affixes the tattoo. Unfortunately, unlike most like real tattoos, Jeannie's fake tattoo causes horrible snakes to crawl out of her skin. Nothing she attempts successfully removes the horrible snake-spawning design from her arm, not even closing her eyes and wishing really hard.

Finally, her friend suggests she look at the tattoo's instruction slip for instructions on how to remove the tattoo. Well, I know that sounds like a long-shot but it actually totally works. Unfortunately, though she removes the tattoo using water exposed to a full moon (What fourth grade poetaster wrote these instructions?), all her classmates overheard how she initially got her tattoo to stick. The story ends with everyone else in her class having affixed their horrible Halloween tattoos of gross creatures. Pity the poor wisenheimer who applied his barb wire fake tattoo to his genitals.

Trick or Treat? Trick


the Wish
Poor Max is constantly being hounded by his older brother Eugene. Though he thinks he'll be able to sneak past his brother during the neighborhood trick-or-treating canvass, his Max costume ultimately proves to have been a poor choice. His older brother pummels the boy and demands Max hand over all his candy. Careful with that ask, Eugene!

Despite his boy-ow-ow, Max still wants candy. All the houses have turned off their porch lights and the other kids have gone home. He wanders the streets until he finds a lit house. An old woman answers the door and grabs him by the wrist, insisting he take his "treat": an old rock. Seeing as how a rock is not even sort of almost candy, he goes home and tosses the rock out his bedroom window. This rock-tossing coincides with Max wishing he were an only child.

The next morning, when he leaves the house, everyone in the neighborhood becomes frightened and chases after him. After finally being corned by everyone and hogtied, the old woman holds up the rock and taunts him. The story ends with Max in a zoo because he is now an "Endangered Species"-- the only child in Earth.

Trick of Treat? Getting hit by a car in the street


An Old Story
Siblings Jon and Tom are visited by their mysterious old Aunt Susan, who starts feeding them prunes. The prunes cause the two boys to age rapidly. Aunt Susan then invites her elderly friends over to play bridge, and the two boys hear her promise their hands in marriage. That's when the realize Aunt Susan is aging them to sell to old women. The boys throw a pitcher of prune juice at the old woman and she explodes into dust. Luckily, a liberal smattering of anti-wrinkle cream cures the boys.

Some things are just too horrible to even joke about. And I didn't even mention how Mimi from the Drew Carey Show is somehow a character in the story. No, really.

Trick or Treat? Trick


The Scarecrow
A scarecrow magically appears in a neighbor's yard, sporting three expensive accessories that appeal separately to three friends: a handsome scarf, a baseball cap, and leather gloves. One by one the three friends each decide to steal the item they want. The girl who steals the scarf comes down with a sore throat and loses her voice. The boy who steals the cap suddenly acts as though he has a concussion. When the final girl attempts to swipe the leather gloves, her two friends pop up behind her and admit they faked the whole thing to scare her. Then the scarecrow smiles for no reason. The story was pretty close to being good. Thank goodness Stine turned it around at the end and made it as horrible as the stories that preceded it.

Trick or Treat? Trick


Awesome Ants
Boy buys ant farm. Ant farm comes with instructions that forbid feeding food to ants. Boy feeds food to ants. Ants grow huge and place humans in ant farm. Irony not lost on anyone.

Trick or Treat? Trick


Please Don't Feed the Bears
When you get to be my age, you'll learn a few things. Like, when a story is called "Please Don't Feed the Bears," man, you'd better not read "Please Don't Feed the Bears."




the Goblin's Glare
Mike has crafted the perfect paper mache Goblin Halloween decoration. It's so perfect that it keeps coming to life and chasing him in his dreams. I believe the lesson learned from this is to always make decorations without legs. Once the fabled night arrives, Mike attributes his great trick-or-treating success to his use of real fur in the costume. Now we know why the Olsens always walk away with the most candy every year.

In the midst of gobblin' up candy, Mike-- well, you know what I'm setting up here. Mike senses the Goblin and races home, attempting to stop the goblin by slamming the door to his house shut, just as he had in his dreams. Only, instead of being greeted by his mother, he's greeted by the goblin-- inside his house. The goblin chases Mike into his room, where he discovers himself, Mike, sound asleep in bed. Turns out the goblin is dreaming these events this time, not Mike. The Goblin prepares to eat the child.

Certainly this was the most I've ever used the word "goblin" in my life.

Trick or Treat? Treat


Bats About Bats
Liz and Suzanne's new friend Dorrie loves bats. In fact, you might even say she's crazily obsessed about crazily obsesseds! All Dorrie wants to do is talk about bats and she wants to grow up to be a bat scientist like her parents. After some back and forth about bats and sleep-overs and vampire costumes, the story ends with a punchline so stupid that it's actually sort of brilliant: Her parents are not scientists who study bats, they're scientists who are giant bats.

Trick or Treat? Treat


the Space-Suit Snatcher
For some unknown reason, there are two characters named Laura in this short story. That's pretty much all I plan to take away from it, but I guess I'll fill in some plot details anyways.

Laura has built a special radio that sends its signal into outer space and she spends her nights beaming classical music into the sky. An old man overhears her conversation at a garage sale and, having found a kindred spirit, gives her a gift: a space suit left for him by aliens back when he was a kid. He also sent signals into outer space, and one morning the was delivered to his doorstep as a gift. They told him if he ever wanted to join them, all he had to do was wear the suit and they'd come for him. She thanks the man for the lifesize MTV Video Award and goes her merry way.

Unfortunately for Laura, her older sister Tammy loves tormenting her. Tammy fakes an alien invasion and puts on the space suit. Just as she starts openly mocking Laura, a flash of light emerges from the suit and Tammy disappears. In her place is a gelatanous purple blob. The aliens signal to Laura that anyone who wears the suit gets picked up. The aliens then make a request for her to play more rock n roll music. Hahaha, aliens, you so crazy!

Trick or Treat? Trick


Just to be clear, the first four stories in the book are the worst thing I've ever read, and I've read Dean Koontz. It took more will power to keep reading than I knew I possessed. Nevertheless, Happy Halloween Blogger Beware readers!

83 comments:

morbidiculous said...

Was it as scary as it sounds?

Reepicheep-chan said...

Thank you and Happy Halloween!

Rhomega said...

Wow, another lame excuse to use werewolves...

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

Well... that was disturbing. Seriously, what was Stine on when he wrote this one?

Incidentally, when you finish off this particular series (with "More Tales to Give You Goosebumps"), are you going to do another Retrospective post to wrap it up? (That was not a mummy joke, I swear.)

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

troy steele said...

Probably not, though I will say that the Christmas collection remains the best thing I've read for the blog.

Anonymous said...

So, this is the... fourth in the short story collection? I'm betting Stine wasn't writing them by this point, but it's hard to say. Oh, and that cover is atrocious.

Hell, is "More Tales" Easter-themed or something? Because they seem dead set on covering all the holidays. Goosebumps Gold apparently had a Dead House story set at Christmas, not to mention "Slappy New Year."

Anonymous said...

Was the "Please don't feed the bears" twist that they all turned out of be bears or something?

Anonymous said...

The worst part about this short story collection is that somebody apparently thought An Old Story and Awesome Ants were good enough to be made into episodes of the TV show. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

anonymous #2: I looked it up, and amazingly, the answer is sorta YES. Wikipedia has a plot synopsis. The last paragraph actually sounds not bad.

Zak said...

"Thankfully the reader is spared a child eating a dog-- though at the rate the series goes, I'm sure Goosebumps 3000 will be filled with nothing but."

It's clear you haven't read The Werewolf in the Living Room yet.

Groggy Dundee said...

Wow. Is that Pumpkin Juice synopsis for real? That is like 95% identical to that of Full Moon Fever, only compressed to a short story. Have fun with that one down the road.

I remember the TV episodes of An Old Story and Awesome Ants but I never actually read the story. Neither were exactly highlights of the show, although my insect-phobia made the second one a bit creepier.

Nice write-up, and as usual your use of image was quite well-placed. I haven't even heard of most of these stories, and I'm thinking that's not a bad thing.

>Hell, is "More Tales" Easter-themed or something?

It was summer/camp-themed. One of the stories was (keeping with the crazy Stine story we've got going) almost identical to Cry of the Cat. On the whole, though, it was the best of the short story collections, as if that's saying anything at all.

Anonymous said...

"Careful with that ask, Eugene!"

Pink Floyd reference, awesome.

Anonymous said...

Here are the short story that are like full goosebumps books

Pumpkin Juice:Full Moon Fever
Awesome Ants:Go Eat worms
Please Don't Feed The Bears(Ending):Cuckoo Clock of Doom
The Cats Tale:Cry Of The Cat
You Gotta Believe me!:The Girl Who cried monster.
PS:Don't Write Back:Welcome To Camp Nightmare
Spirit Of The Harvest Moon:The Barking Ghost
Something's Fishy:Deep Trouble
Haunted House Game:Be Afraid-Be Verry Afraid

Anonymous said...

I can't believe it's so long until Be Afraid - Be Very Afraid! I'm hoping that one isn't spoiled for Troy... his pain is our amusement.

Groggy Dundee said...

>PS:Don't Write Back:Welcome To Camp Nightmare

Really? I'm not sure about this one. I'd think Ghost Camp would be the closest to this of any of the camp books. Spirit Moon's ghost dog only turns up at the very end, but I suppose you could count that.

Groggy Dundee said...

BTW, I meant "LAZY Stine story" in my above post, not crazy. Although that the latter's not entirely inappropriate, perhaps.

tj said...

More short storys that are like full goosebumps books
The Scarecrow:The Scarecrow walks at midnight
The wish:Be careful what you wish for

Anonymous said...

It must have taken hours of research to come to such conclusions!

Zak said...

tj, you sound like you're just looking for titles. Cause those two stories are nothing like the ones you compared them to.

Groggy Dundee said...

Agreed zak, some of those comparisons don't sit very well with me. Anyway, my point in bringing up the Full Moon Fever/Pumpkin Juice and Cry of the Cat/A Cat's Tale analogies was to point out that Stine took a short story and later expanded it into novel-length.

Zak said...

Yeah... they even took one of the short stories and made it into an hour-long special TV episode. Despite how much they changed it it happens to be my favorite episode. It was MUCH better than the book version.

Groggy Dundee said...

I'm assuming you're referring to The Perfect School? Yeah, that was one of the better TV episodes.

Zak said...

Yeah I am. Thank god it's finally on youtube.

BTW Troy will there be an update this Tuesday?

I can tell you'll have a field day with Scream School and I forget how it ends... please tell me there's an update.

Oh, and don't forget to vote... if the election causes it to be a day late I understand, just... YOU MUST SUFFER THROUGH SCREAM SCHOOL THIS WEEK!!

troy steele said...

Yes, there will be an update Tuesday. It will be tinged with either joy or sorrow, depending on how the election goes.

Anonymous said...

So it'll be another midnight update, huh?

tj said...

Troy your goona hate scream school.
Nothing "Scary" Happens
And not the good kind of nothing either like in Are You
Terrified Yet?

tj said...

Also troy In Scream School there some Hall Of Fame Questionable Parenting

Rhomega said...

It will be tinged with either joy or sorrow, depending on how the election goes.

Unless they have to do recounts because of a faulty ballot system like in the last 2 elections.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

rhomega said: "Unless they have to do recounts because of a faulty ballot system like in the last 2 elections."

One thing's for sure: no matter who wins, there's going to be a lot of screaming going on. (Personally, I think they should just read these books. Then they'd have a real reason to scream!)

And by the way, did you know you were mentioned in the "Twist Endings" section of the Goosebumps page on Wikipedia?

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

Anon e Mouse Jr. said: "And by the way, did you know you were mentioned in the "Twist Endings" section of the Goosebumps page on Wikipedia?"

In case it wasn't clear, Troy, that was aimed at you.

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

troy steele said...

There's something vaguely unpleasant about being called a blogger (what's wrong with 'writer'), but I thank whoever quoted me nonetheless.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy it while you can, Troy, as it probably won't last the night.

Zak said...

Well, the site IS called BLOGGER beware, you're welcome to change that.

I love the colorful updates when something big happens, like the Juno one. This one's gonna be awesome... and yeah I believe I mentioned Scream School has some Hall of Fame questionable parenting, and I have a well-good idea as to what the "Platonic boy-girl relationship" will be described as.

tj said...

Hey Troy Heres Some advice:

VOTE OBAMA

Anonymous said...

I was... I was kinda hoping we could reference politics without actually bringing politicians into it.

troy steele said...

I'm not going to name names because this is a blog for everyone, be you Republican, Democrat, or some Third Party. That's why I try to avoid political jokes or references. But it's probably pretty obvious who I didn't vote for: Wendell Willkie

Groggy Dundee said...

I think I submitted the part of the Wikipedia article.

bionicle dude said...

why didn't you write a review for"please don't feed the bears" i mean....

p.s. bionicles rock XD

Groggy Dundee said...

All I can say bioncle is that it must have been really awful. Really looking forward to Scream School.

Ryan said...

Believe me Troy, your omission of politics in your entries is appreciated. It's refreshing to be able to enjoy something funny without its author sneaking in his or her ideology. Incidentally, was the Bear story the one about the zoo mascots or am I thinking of another classic Stine short story?

Mike said...

I never read it but judging it's description on wikipedia, it's your typical people turning into things that arn't people type of story

Anonymous said...

I can't wait until you review John McCain's favorite Goosebumps book, "Earth Gooks Must Go!"

Palin in '12!!!

troy steele said...

Okay gang, so I'm pushing this week's update to Thursday. But next week should be back to the normal schedule (hold for laughter)

Groggy Dundee said...

You beep.

troy steele said...

It's just not Blogger Beware without late entries

Groggy Dundee said...

Sounds right to me. But now our nice conversation has to turn into whining about "When's your entry?"

Zak said...

grr.

Can someone who has read Scream School and remembers the last line email it to me?

zak6009@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

I have read Scream School, but don't remember the last line, haha. I read that book like... 7 years ago.

TJ said...

Heres The Last Line
"Who's The King Of Horror? I AM!"

Nihil Novum said...

I think we should introduce a "Last Line" feature for Zak. ;)

Anonymous said...

Rank order of best and worst last lines in a Goosebumps 2000 book should be in the 2000 retrospective.

Zak said...

nihil - It's just that I used to know all the last lines in all the Goosebumps books and 2000 books by heart.

Also I just went through a list and found that I still do remember them all, save 5 which I forgot.

Those are the ones that I will be asking about. This was one of them. Thanks whoever emailed me, I appreciate it.

The other two are Horrors of the Black Ring and the Haunted Car. I just gotta know those and I'm all set.

Also there are some that I remember the last line, but forget what happens, but that I'll let Troy tell me.

Zak said...

Oh and Anonymous - we can do that for the original series as well ;)

tj said...

I was doing some research and the apparntly the following goosebumps books were ghostwritten:
Attack of The Jack O Lanterns
Calling All Creeps
Bad Hare Day
Night Of The Living Dummy II

Nihil Novum said...

Zak: I have to admit that's pretty amazing in a strange way. Have you contacted Guiness?

Anonymous said...

tj, how did you find out that those books were ghostwritten? It's a subject I, too, would like to investigate.

Anonymous said...

Ouch, Night Of The Living Dummy II being ghostwritten would hurt, given that Slappy was barely a character in the original.

Groggy Dundee said...

What's your source TJ?

tj said...

http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/s/r-l-stine/

troy steele said...

That listing is confusing the original books with the TV Series novelizations

Groggy Dundee said...

Not only that, the plot description for Night of the Living Dummy II is taken from the first one.

Anonymous said...

Oh, FantasticFiction. Why did you do it?

Why did you kill me?

Zak said...

Yeah those are the "Goosebumps Presents" books. They weren't written by Stine, they were based on the TV episodes and adapted into novel form, saying everything that happened word for word.

And Nihil - it's not that hard... BTW was it you that emailed me? If you did, can you send me the last two? I'd ask you tell me here, but that would spoil Troy's sufferage. :P

I enjoy memorizing lists as a hobby, this was quite fun.

morbidiculous said...

You have a list of all of the Goosebumps closing lines? Neat! Wait, I mean insufferably tedious! Could you e-mail me a copy as well? :/

RE Goosebumps Horrorland series: 'Doctor Maniac vs Robby Schwartz'!? Things to add to list of things that sound awesome: this! |:|

Nihil Novum said...

Hey Zak.

No, it wasn't me who emailed you. Unfortunately (fortunately?) I only own two Goosebumps books: Chicken Chicken and... Night of the Living Dummy II I think.

Zak said...

Morbidiculous: The list is in my head, not on paper, but what is your email? I'll try and send it to you.

Also some of them I just remember the last words of the sentence.

Also it's going on midnight... where the fook is our update?

troy steele said...

It's nowhere near midnight and I'm writing it now

Zak said...

Actually, what the heck, I'll post here what I remember. This isn't 100% word for word but it's the basic jist of each of them:

Hopefully in the time it takes me to type this, the next update will be up.

Welcome to Dead House: "...and they sped away".
Stay Out of the Basement: "Help me, please help me, I'm your real father!" (said by the flower)
Monster Blood: "It was gone."
Say Cheese and Die!: "...waiting to see what developed" (the twins)
The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb: "Two figures appeared in the door. 'Mom and Dad'! I bet they had no idea how surprised I was to see them"
Let's Get Invisible: "My brother was throwing right handed."
Night of the Living Dummy: "He's gone? I thought he'd never leave!"
The Girl Who Cried Monster: "Come on, Lucy, no more monster stories!"
Welcome to Camp Nightmare: "We'll see... we'll see" (after asking if "Earth" will be as exciting as Camp Nightmoon)
The Ghost Next Door: "She hoped so."
The Haunted Mask: "How do I look in your mask?"
Be Careful What You Wish For: "She had the BIGGEST smile on her face!"
Piano Lessons Can Be Murder: "Everyone says I have great hands."
You Can't Scare Me: "We can't. We're just too scared."
One Day at Horrorland: "You forgot to get free passes for next year!"
Why I'm Afraid of Bees: "Come on, try it. It's good. Really!" (about pollen)
Monster Blood II: "Cuddles, what are you eating"?
Deep Trouble: "Would he believe me?"
The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight: "What chapter are you reading?"
Go Eat Worms: "What are YOU going to do?"
Ghost Beach: "Now what do we do with these kids?" (that's five questions in a row)
Return of the Mummy: "Ouch!" (after they notice the scarab is gone from the necklace.
Phantom of the Auditorium: "The Boy was Brian".
Attack of the Mutant: "I suddenly realized that my comic book career wasn't over!"
My Hairiest Adventure: "Then I saw the baby's bright yellow eyes."
A Night in Terror Tower: "Let's get some nice 20th century burger and fries!"
The Cuckoo Clock of Doom: "Maybe one day I'll go back and find her. Maybe."
Monster Blood III: "Um... I think we have a small problem."
It Came From Beneath the Sink: "The potato had a mouth full of teeth".
Night of the Living Dummy II: "Who fought Slappy?"
The Barking Ghost: "Let's hunt for acorns, I'm starving!"
The Horror at Camp Jellyjam: "I have some brussel sprouts on the stove!"
Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes: "The gorilla winked at me."
A Shocker on Shock Street: "He carried them and disappeared into the engineering building." (Not spot on, I know the last two words are "engineering building").
The Haunted Mask II: "Um... I'm having trouble getting this mask off, can you please help me?"
The Headless Ghost: "I blinked. The light faded out."
The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena: "THWOCK."
How I Got My Shrunken Head: "Hey kid, let me tell the part about the tiger!"
Night of the Living Dummy III: "As Zane got in the car, I noticed Slappy's eye close in a wink."
Bad Hare Day: "Don't you agree?"
Egg Monsters From Mars: "I squatted down on the grass-- and laid the biggest egg you ever saw!"
The Beast From the East: "Tag, you're it!"
Say Cheese and Die-- Again!: "We'll see... we'll see". (After Mr. Saur takes a picture of the class)
Ghost Camp: "Please don't tell, I'll do anything... if you PROMISE not to tell!"
How to Kill a Monster: "I'm out of ideas, how about you?"
Legend of the Lost Legend: "We-- we're lost!"
Attack of the Jack-O'-Lanterns: "Of course it's all a joke. Right? Right?!"
Vampire Breath: "'Growwwwwwwwwwwwwwr', Cara replied." (after drinking a bottle of WEREWOLF SWEAT)
Calling All Creeps: "This is how it's going to be. And I'm going to like it."
Beware, the Snowman: "It's cold up here."
How I learned to Fly: "I really wish Wonder Wilson a lot of luck. Really..."
Chicken Chicken: "Pig pig".
Don't Go to Sleep!: "My mouth fell open. I started to scream."
The Blob That Ate Everyone: "Now THAT's a great ending!"
The Curse of Camp Cold Lake: "You'll be my buddy, won't you? You'll be my buddy-- forever."
My Best Friend is Invisible: (something about humans being an endangered species, I honestly don't remember word for word, someone can tell me if you have it)
Deep Trouble II: "Did I drink the wrong bottle?"
The Haunted School: "FLASH."
Werewolf Skin: "...and sank her teeth into my chest". (thanks Troy for this one, I forgot it so I while back I emailed him and asked him)
I Live In Your Basement!: "Would he believe me?"
Monster Blood IV: "I don't know, but we're feeling MEANER than usual!"

Whew, that was a load off. Hope the next update is up by the time I click submit. Actually, no I don't, cause this needs attention for a few minutes first.

(and anyone wanna tell me the one for My Best Friend is Invisible?)

Anonymous said...

I believe it was the famous Jewish American writer Saul Bellow who said that California "is like an artificial limb the rest of the country doesn't really need."

And Stine ain't got shit on Bellow.

troy steele said...

Save that venom for tonite's Hollywood-set book. Choice moment: "Let's go walk around the UCLA campus!"

Patrick said...

Zak -

"Huh? The zoo?" I cried. "Why, Dad? Why does he have to live in a zoo?"

"Well, he'll get much better care there," Dad answered. "After all, humans are an endangered species!"

You were close.



Oh, by the way, Troy...have you ever considered adding some message boards to the blog? You could always recruit a few of us nerds to moderate.

Groggy Dundee said...

I'm probably going to go to bed before you post this tonight. Sorry.

Zak said...

Thanks Patrick. Wow, I WAS close.

Also, Deep Trouble and I Live In Yout Basement had the same last line. So did Welcome to Camp Nightmare and Say Cheese and Die Again.

tj said...

Series 2000 last lines(That I know of)
cry of the cat:"hey give it! It's Mine!"
IOTBS(Part 1):Then He Attacked
Are You Terrified Yet?:Why did it have to be so DARK?
Attack Of The Graveyard Ghouls:Troy Said this one
The Mummy Walks:THE MUMMY WALKS AGAIN
Full Moon Fever:Curse Bar
Slappy's Nightmare:...And begin to read the curse
Ghost In The Mirror:Did you get my note?

Zak said...

Actually Cry of the Cat is "I saw it first!" and IOTBS part 1 is "and came for me".

Anonymous said...

[QUOTE]And I didn't even mention how Mimi from the Drew Carey Show is somehow a character in the story.[/QUOTE]

Uh, Troy, that was only for the TV version of "An Old Story". And you should have noted that the TV version used baby food as the antidote to the two boys getting old (the baby food was in the house because one of the boys' mothers was pregnant and, like most pregnant women, has cravings for weird foods and food combinations).

Anonymous said...

[QUOTE]Was the "Please don't feed the bears" twist that they all turned out of be bears or something?[/QUOTE]

Reply: No, the twist was the bratty little sister eats thee graham crackers that turn humans into bears and the older sister delights in the fact that she now has a pet bear (her sister).

Groggy Dundee said...

I just got this off of Amazon, and yeah, it's pretty terrible. It doesn't look like Stine or the ghostwriter was even trying with this one.

Anonymous said...

I did like the Scarecrow, but what I thought was stupid was that Darleen never considered that the gloves would affect her the same way the scarf and hat affected Melanie and Scott.

Also, you think it's possible the writers for going for the same thing they tried in "A Holly Jolly Holiday" when they did "Please Don't Feed The Bears"?

Cass Seno said...

Also, you think it's possible the writers for going for the same thing they tried in "A Holly Jolly Holiday" when they did "Please Don't Feed The Bears"?

Reply: That depends. Both showed that cutesy, innocent things can be evil (the Suzie Snowflake Christmas movie in HJH/the Cuddle Bear theme park where everyone is a Cuddle Bear because of the crackers they eat). Of course, we'll never know because Troy thinks it's funnier to trot out a tired, old Simpsons joke than to say (and I'm just pitching it out there) going through the actual story and pointing out how ridiculous it is.

Groggy Dundee said...

I don't blame Troy for wanting as little to do with this POS book. It's truly one of the most dire things published under the Goosebumps banner.

The pet in the Pumpkin Juice story was a cat, not a dog. I felt a need to point that out for some reason.

Groggy Dundee said...

Also it's noteworthy (or not) to point out that four of these stories are 99% identical: cursed food/tattoo causes transformation, there's a weird way of resolving the situation, and at the end of the story someone else becomes a victim. Stine obviously wasn't even trying with this collection.

Anonymous said...

It's a shame you didn't read "Please Don't Feed the Bears" because that one was probably the best one in the whole anthology.