Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Series 2000 #22 Full Moon Fever



Series 2000 22: Full Moon Fever

Front Tagline:
Hairy Halloween!

Brief Synopsis


+



Slightly Less Brief Synopsis
On the list of things I don't want to do, "Write about Full Moon Fever" falls just below "Write Full Moon Fever." Just. There's a spooky cabin in the woods, Halloween trick-or-treating, and a peculiar moment where the sibling subjects of the book are served a plate of snack cakes for dinner by Grandpa John. All show potential as good Goosebumps material and/or grounds for a CSPI protest.

Unfortunately, about thirty pages in, Stine transforms his preteen characters into hideous beasts at the hands of a neighborhood witch. And so what could have been a decent book quickly devolves into fantasy child abuse redux, this time with fur. But this Fur has no bangs to ease the bitter pill of its execution. No, this book carries on for another eighty pages with exchanges like this, which is disgusting enough in context to resist invoking an Out of Context Text Alert:
I could go for a tasty dog right now, I thought, feeling my stomach grumble.
I imagined the soft fur against my tongue, the warm meat sliding down my throat.
And squirrel slurping, earthworm eating, rat repasting, human arm harm, etc. These little beasts raise quite a repulsive ruckus. Forget the kids getting abused and the animals getting eaten, where's the public watchdog for the poor reader who has to slog through this garbage? There's whippings, children being carried around in mini dog kennels, heckling, and various other examples of unpleasantness. The book doesn't even have the guts to make the kids werewolves, because that would at least require some restraint in terms of following the made-up werewolf rules of previous Goosebumps entries.

In order to pad the page-length, there is also an extended sequence involving a disguised character named Wolf that makes the List of Adrian Messenger look competent retroactively. Add to this the world's longest and least-likely visit with grandpa and an ending line that instructs the only sane response to and subsequent way to recover from the book:
Curse bar.
Perhaps you find this somewhat abridged review to be unfair. Perhaps you think I owe a full-on summary of a book where the twist ending involves a character misreading the names of various candies. I disagree. I'm nearing the end of my run of this series. Guys and dolls, if you have any doubts as to how I feel about nearing that milestone via this book, allow me:
Ask me how do I feel
Ask me now that we're nearing the ending
Well sir, all I can say is if I were a check you'd be paying

From the moment Stine killed tonight
That last hope I had for a save
Boy, if Goosebumps were dead I'd fight
To make it stay put in the grave

Ask me how do I feel, little me with my quip-happy blogging
Well sir, all I can say is if I weren't great I'd be quitting!
And if I were this book I'd start stopping my reading
Or if I were Scholastic I'd know when to stop printing

Ask me how do I feel from this "Do Not Do" lesson I'm learning
Well sir, all I can say is if I were a bridge game I'd be folding!

Yes, I knew my morale wouldn't last
From the woeful way the book looked!
Boy, if this were a meal I'd fast!
Only if I were a fish I'd be hooked!

Ask me how do I feel, ask me now that the moment is coming
When if I were Vegas I'd know there's no payout for sucking
Ask me how to describe the whole damnable outlook
Well, if you were a car wash you'd cost five dollars, book.

MERRY HAPPIDAYS, EVERYONE!

385 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 385 of 385
TJ said...

"Now I just need Andy's last name. But I still don't have "Monster Blood IV" in my collection to check it. "

Conside your self lucky. What page says Kermit's last name is Majors?

But Seriously,I just Re Read MB 4(Still Sucks) and they don't reval Andy'd last name. So I'll make one up. How does Douglas Sound?

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

"Consider yourself lucky."

Considering I've been wanting a copy of that book and every other book from the series that I'm missing, I really DON'T consider myself lucky for not having it.

I got the first 30 books during the original run, though three of them vanished at some point (and have since been replaced). Then, between September 2003 and June 2007, Scholastic reprinted 57 of the original 62 books. (They left out "Phantom of the Auditorium", "Legend of the Lost Legend", "Werewolf Skin", "I Live in Your Basement" and "Monster Blood IV".) I finally got around to buying the reissues in early '08, not long before the first HorrorLand books came out. Unfortunately, eight of the reissues (not counting anything before number 31) had gone out of print by the time I started buying them, so I STILL couldn't get them. Luckily, one of those eight was reprinted in the "Classic Goosebumps" series of reissues (and I own ALL the books that have been newly printed in the series since early '08). Still, I'm missing 11 out of the original 62 books, and it annoys me that I can't get them without a lot of hassle.

For the record, here's the full list of the eleven I'm missing:

The Barking Ghost
Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes
A Shocker on Shock Street
The Haunted Mask II
The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena
Bad Hare Day
Egg Monsters from Mars
Legend of the Lost Legend
Werewolf Skin
I Live in Your Basement
Monster Blood IV

***

"What page says Kermit's last name is Majors?"

His mother is identified as "Mrs. Majors" on the first page of chapter 9.

"But seriously, I just reread MB 4 (still sucks) and they don't reveal Andy's last name."

Thanks for checking the book for me - now I have my answer, even if I'm not thrilled by it. Maybe I should go on Twitter and ask Stine himself if he ever had a last name planned for her. (Or have someone else do it for me.)

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

TJ said...

Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes?
Monster Blood IV?
The Haunted Mask II?

Do your self a favor and DON'T read those pieces of Crap.


I'll go ask Stine for you

Stine said...

We've reached a 2nd page of comments!

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

"Do your self a favor and DON'T read those pieces of Crap."

They can't possibly be worse than some of the stuff I've seen on fanfiction.net . (And yes, I have read the reviews on this site.)

Thanks for your help.

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Anonymous said...

Anon E., I just checked my reissue of Curse Of The Mummy's Etc. Page 8 clearly mentions a Nintendo DS. Maybe they re-adapted it for the U.K.? I'm pretty sure they did something with Monster Blood, too, and then there's the printing of Night Of The Living Dummy without the last chapter...

bob said...

I read R.L. Stine's Twitter some more and it turn out Let's Get Invisible was inspired by a movie called "Flatliners"

troy steele said...

Wow, now there's your silk purse

djloomis said...

I find the "George Carpenter" gravestone amusing for Stine's homage to George Romero and John Carpenter. To be honest, I only just noticed it.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

"And then there's the printing of Night Of The Living Dummy without the last chapter..."

Ah yes... I've heard about that infamous misprint. I think they fixed it eventually.

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Elizabeth said...

I guess the "big news" isn't urgent, or else Troy would have shared it already.

tj said...

Whens the next entry gonna come?

tj said...

I'm doing a recap of The TV Show over at Tv Tropes. Check it out.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=esyzu13hf5ann81pwh02g7p5&page=1

Mishmash said...

Ooooh, Flatliners, man, even Kiefer got his claws into the makings of Goosebumps back then.

Mishmash said...

But they decided to stay in of the basement.

Groggy Dundee said...

I ordered a used copy of Be Afraid - Be Very Afraid! on Amazon this morning, God help me. At least I only paid a penny plus shipping.

I did see that a new copy is selling for $287. Draw your own conclusions.

Mishmash said...

The kids somehow get locked in the room. Then, and this is astonishing, and I want you all to brace yourself for this: After pushing really hard on the door for several minutes, they realize the door opens in, not out. What.

TJ said...

When can we expect the next entry Troy?

Groggy Dundee said...

>The Barking Ghost
Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes
A Shocker on Shock Street
The Haunted Mask II
The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena
Bad Hare Day
Egg Monsters from Mars
Legend of the Lost Legend
Werewolf Skin
I Live in Your Basement
Monster Blood IV

I own all of those except I Live In Your Basement.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

"I own all of those except I Live In Your Basement."

I actually read that one back in the day - a friend loaned me his copy. But I still don't own it, unfortunately.

Oh well... if I'm lucky, they'll continue the reissues long enough to put out some of the ones I'm missing. (I own all three of the Goosebumps Graphix books, but it's still not the same as having the original books.)

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Groggy Dundee said...

I've READ I Live In Your Basement. I just don't own it. Not that I'm terribly upset about that fact, mind you, I remember hating it.

After tracking down Phantom of the Auditorium, The Haunted School and One Day in Horrorland last summer, I've finally managed to read every original-series Goosebumps book. I don't have enough will to finish all the Series 2000 ones though.

Mishmash said...

Hmmm.... I'm rubbing my chin in an exaggerated, sarcastic manner. It is so sarcastic, this chin-rubbing.

chicken lover said...

has anyone here read gooflumps?

Millie said...

I've read Gooflumps but it was so long ago I can remember only one of them - about aliens living in the protagonist's toilet (!)

I did own every book in the original Goosebumps series at one point, although half of them were in French. I lost some of the books during house moves and/or lending them to people who didn't return them, but most of them are still in my old room at my family's house in France

Nostalgia Critic said...

The only Original Book I haven't read is I Live In Your Basement.

Groggy Dundee said...

The Barnes and Noble nearest to me sells Spanish Goosebumps. One of my friends is collecting them, for some reason.

Tj said...

I still I have yet to red When The Ghost Dog Howls. Anyone read it yet?

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

"I still I have yet to read When The Ghost Dog Howls. Anyone read it yet?"

I have. It was pretty interesting... I think. (I only read it once, and I've been rather busy with other stuff since then.)

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

tj said...

I heard that Camp Jellyjam Horrorland Reprint reveals King Jellyjams origins. Can someone confirm this? If so,what are his origins?

Anonymous said...

tj#2: You mean King Jellyjam's origins aside from Oh Say How Does A Species That Dies From Its Own Stench Manage To Ever Exist At All

To give credit where it's due, I never doubted the snails for a second.

djloomis said...

@tj I can confirm it. In the Behind the Screams section, it says a camper left a cup of Jell-O Brand Gelatin in a radioactive cave and it mutated into King Jellyjam. The book cites this as another reason "not to litter."

Anonymous said...

I read When The Ghost Dog Howls, and I actually thought it was very good, for the most part. And King Jellyjam's origins in the reprint are probably non-canon because they're in a bonus section Stine didn't write - it says that a camper left a can of gelatin in a cave contaminated by radiation and snails.

chicken lover said...

ive read halfway through attack of the mutant and i think its funnier than the books(rotten school) he writes that are supposed to be funny:"where are you going?"libby asked me.I didn't want to tell her i had an orthodontist appointment.That was too geeky."I'm going to a comic book store," I said.!!!

chicken lover said...

hey groggy i remeber you saying you saw some r.l. stine interview about the ghostwritting issue can you where you saw it?

MIshmash said...

Questionable Wizarding:
Morgred has no problem abandoning all the people in the land who counted on his wizardry so long as he gets to eat burgers in the future.

TJ said...

You think that Jello would create Monster Blood,not King Jellyjam.

I agree with you about Attack Of the Mutant. Dr.Manic Is another return to Stine's "Funny" ways. It worked pretty well to tell the truth. One of the many reasons why I'm glad that the Horrorland books are the only GB books to not promise Scares on he back.

Anonymous said...

once you've reviewed all the goosebump books you have to tell us how many times frosted flakes has appeared in them.

Millie said...

... so, telling us that if we leave garbage lying around it might mutate into a vast, terrifying monster is supposed to make us NOT want to litter, is it?

In Troy's "retrospective on the series" post he mentioned that RL had stated somewhere that the Horrors used to be burn victims. Does anyone know where that came from?

troy steele said...

It came from one of the books that were packaged with the Goosebumps POGs

Ken said...

Hey Troy, I hate to distract you from your life off of the internet, but when you get the chance, can you link the last two entries to the sidebar?

chicken lover said...

ive only got 1 goosebumps book(i get most of mine from the library)which is creep from deep.i used to have dont go 2 sleep but i gave that to my friend.

chicken lover said...

oh i just forgot i placed an order on horrorland a survival guide + a free goosebumps classic(hope its NLD or HIGMSH,i havent read them and their both sposed to be good)although i have a very high suspicion that H:ASG will just be a collection of annoying jokes like the fear files

Anonymous said...

chicken lover, the HorrorLand survival guide is basically an expanded version of the Fear Files in the back of the HorrorLand books. Chapters 1 through 10 used to be available online, but Scholastic closed the sit ethey were on. Given that the material is no longer available online, it's probably worth getting - but not worth Troy reviewing.

Groggy Dundee said...

Troy, forget this alleged exciting news. You'll be giving us a history lesson.

Elizabeth said...

I'm not sure if anyone here knows the answer, but do authors (like Stine) really get money for mentioning name brands - like Frosted Flakes?

Groggy Dundee said...

Stine was in a partnership with Pepsi for a time, as I think Troy points out in some of his reviews. Don't know if Frosted Flakes was the same deal. On the other hand, he name-drops specific candy brands in a lot of his books.

Screams In the Night said...

I just read Ghost in The Mirror(Series 2000 #25)

It was prety good. I only have 2 complaints

1.The Title. There are no Ghosts in this book. A More appropriate title would be "Crab People In The Mirror"

2.It's Really short. It's only 2 pages longer then Horror Of The Black Ring.


Other then that,it was good.

Mishmash said...

The entire family is slipping into Susie Snowflake's vernacular, calling each other "dearie" and being menacingly cheerful. Beth notices in the mirror that her hair has tinted slightly pink. She tries to swear but can only exclaim "Oh sugar cookies!" I love this story.

Anonymous said...

Mishmash, when did you start quoting parts from random reviews? I was kinda hoping something more meaningful might've appeared rather than something I've read before. No offence.

Groggy Dundee said...

Today I read When the Ghost Dog Howls AND Little Shop of Hamsters. Quick minireviews:

Ghost Dog - a rather misleading title, more like "kids play with an enchanted tooth and a ghost dog shows up at the end". Not really scary, and has a weird I Live In Your Basement-ish dream sequence halfway through, but not painful to read. Plus it probably has the best chpater cliff-hanger in Goosebumps history.

Hamsters - about what you'd expect. *spoiler alert* Hamsters become vicious killers after drinking Vitamin water, which their owner gives to them in an attempt to start a hamster wrestling league. Yes, that's really the plot. There's also Imitation Monster Blood - IMITATION Monster Blood!

So, yeah. At least I got a Flashman book and Shutter Island out of my trip.

TJ said...

Remember back in Beware,The Snowman when you were surprised that Church was mentioned in a Goosebumps book?

Well a Church showed up again in Streets Of Panic Park. The kids end up in a church were they find pictures of all the kids that previously died in Panic Park. Yes,Kids died in a Goosebumps book. And Not by Purple Snot.

Oh and the "Hands On Neck" thing from Return To Horrorland rears its ugly head in Monster Blood For Breakfast.


PS: The Menace is the best goosebumps villain ever.

tj said...

"Plus it probably has the best chpater cliff-hanger in Goosebumps history."

What is it?

Anonymous said...

...Imitation Monster Blood?

*orders book*

Mishmash said...

To the Anonymous:

It IS meaningful. Exactly what you find more meaningful in the other comments posted here I can't quite fathom. Are any of these other comments actually that profound? Aren't we all just writing stuff that's coming to our minds in these comments? Exactly how is that any more meaningful? You're just looking for something else instead of what's more "meaningful." If you still can't figure it out why I'd rather post preexisting sections of a blog than write a ten page essay on why this blog rules with examples and analyses, or maybe a emotionally-ridden, heartwarming piece similar to the horrible movie Crash, since apparently both of those things seems to fit your definition of "meaningful," then you really have to open your mind a bit more. Here's a hint: Nostalgia rules. Good luck with that.

Questionable Teaching:
The book opens with Samantha getting mocked by her peers for not knowing that four plus two equals six. Now, putting aside that the girls were right to laugh at her because that's not a very hard equation, I think the real problem here is that the characters are being taught 4+2=6 in middle school.

TJ said...

@Mishmash:

If you look at Fail in the dictionary,there will be a exert from your comment.

TJ said...

There's this Fear Street Blog called "ShadySide Snark" It's really funny. The write of that blog also comes up with funny alternate titles for the books.

So I've decided to come up with some alternate titles for Goosebumps books.


Here they are:
Cuckoo Clock of Doom or "Attack Of the Assholes"

Chicken Chicken or "Night Of The Fantasy child abuse!"

Full Moon Fever Or "Fantasy Child Abuse Redux"

Who's Your Mummy? or "Lamest Title Ever"

Return to Ghost Camp or "Most Misleading Title Ever"

A Shocker on Shock Street or "A Shocker On Schlock Street"

Bad Hare Day or "Bad Book Day"

Slappy's Nightmare or "Don't You Hate It When The Twist Is Given Away In The Title?"

Piano Lessons Can Be Murder or "Best Title Ever"

It Came From Beneath the Sink! or "Attack Of The Evil Spongebob!"

Say Cheese And Die "2nd Best Title Ever"

Groggy Dundee said...

"What is it?"

I'd rather not spoil it.

Groggy Dundee said...

I'll also add, it seems like Stine is going for a more overtly humorous tone in the Horrorland books than in "classic" Goosebumps. This is probably why I haven't liked most of these books; Stine has rather a juvenile sense of humor, and a book full of goofy puns is not my cup of tea.

On the other hand, an iPhone turned up in one of these last two books, so that's good.

tj said...

Overall,The Horrorland Series is a Good series. While not as good as the Classic Series,It beats most of the 2000 books. Most the books are full of cheesy stuff like in a 50's B movie. Since I love chessy B movies,I got a kick out of this series. While The regular parts all vary in quality,The Horrorland parts are great. Especially when the plot starts to surface. I really loved book 12. And Book 11 had 1 of the most awesome scenes in GB history.

Overall, I give the first arc a 8 Out of 10. Looking forward to getting my hands on books 13-19.

And According to R.L Stines Twitter,Book 19 will take
place entirely in Horrorland.


"I'd rather not spoil it"

I like to read movie summary's on Wikipedia. I don't mind spoilers.

And Dr.Maniac has some Hall Of Fame Questionable Parenting.

Anonymous said...

Good point, Groggy; the new books try too hard to be funny. But then again, R.L.'s idea of horror seems to mostly be gross-out and child abuse, so maybe it's not a bad thing.

Anonymous said...

And speaking of R.L.'s Twitter, here's a comment he made a few days ago: "Hold on to those old Goosebumps books, Jessica. Maybe someday they'll be worth their cover price!"

Mishmash said...

@TJ:

It couldn't be any more of a fail than yours. At least I can write properly. I don't think you even know what you just wrote. An "exert" from my comment? By "exert" you mean a PART of it, right? If you were planning on fully insulting me, then why settle for a part of it? Why not insult the whole comment altogether? But of course you wouldn't know what "exert" meant considering you used it all WRONG. "Exert" is a freakin VERB. I believe you were trying to think of "EXCERPT," which is totally NOT "exert." So not only did you use a WRONG word, you used a word that completely weakens your insult. This is simple etiquette. If you're going to insult someone, do it properly please. Holy crap.

I had no idea this book was taking place in Mayberry. Andy rushes off to her piano lesson, apparently unaware that The Werewolf of Fever Swamp.

tj said...

I jut contacted R.L Stine on Twitter and Horrorland #19 is called "It's Return to Chiller House"

tj said...

That comment was full of so much fail that it puts my comment to shame. I don't know how to spell that word and my Firefox spell check said it was right.

If you love repeating Troy's stuff much,how would like it if I did it?



Unfortunately his kid brother Lefty keeps making fun of him with really scorching zingers like "You're stupid." The creativity of that burn shows that clearly Lefty has received his nickname not just from his writing-hand but also his use of the left-side of his brain.

Groggy Dundee said...

Alright, TJ. Here's a paraphrased version:

Protagonist: "Mom, I'm going to murder my cousin."

Mom: "Sure, go ahead. I never liked her anyway."

...

Next Chapter:
"Of course, that's what I *WISHED* she'd say."

tj said...

"Alright, TJ. Here's a paraphrased version:

Protagonist: "Mom, I'm going to murder my cousin."

Mom: "Sure, go ahead. I never liked her anyway."

...

Next Chapter:
"Of course, that's what I *WISHED* she'd say.""


*Buys Book*

tj said...

What happened to the BIG NEWS Troy promised?

chicken lover said...

which is better animorphs or goosebumps?

personally i prefer goosebumps but only just.

freddyfrog said...

To tj:and you wrote [a] exert when an indefinite article comes before a vowel it an is used instead of a,unless the word coming after the article begins with a vowel,but the starting vowel uses the sound of a consonant:e.g. the u in unicycle uses the sound of a y.

By the way the only definite article is the and the only indefinite article is a/an.

nodoctors said...

I'm still reeling from the Deep Trouble review which blew my brain apart. I must know when you will begin reviewing the Horrorland series. Does Troy need some book donations? Or is Troy tired and running out of steam? HM?(I don't blame you, how many reviews can one seriously do on the Goosebumps series)

Anonymous said...

R.L Stine pulled off cliffhangers like that before, but the narrator actually gives up and cops to outright lying to the reader? Goosebumps gold, GrodyDundee!

Elizabeth said...

I'm too comment to tipsy!

tj said...

Do you want to be REALLY grossed out via Stine?

I follow his tweets and this is something he retweeted:

RL_Stine

RT @tinadearing @RL_Stine wrote the first sexy scene I read that made me feel funny down there. RL: Tina, I'm blushing.

yes, some girl tweeted that she enjoyed a sexy scene that Stine wrote. Stine is blushing. Good god.

Millie said...

@ TJ, regarding Troy's news -

I reckon RL's lawyers got to him. Or he was eaten by the scary anon who keeps saying "Troy smells nice." I knew something was wrong with that person.

Anonymous said...

pisse veneze sur mon visage

anonymoose said...

pisse veneze sur mon visage

Anonymous said...

You get a chance to see the Goosebumps Horrorland series yet? I've read them, and there were only two that I actually - kinda - liked: Help, We Have Strange Powers and the one about Dr. Maniac.

Dr. Maniac gives us the surreal sight of a tons of kidnapped kids being forced to iceskate around aimlessly in a skating rink for no reason other than the amusement of a madman, which is just plain awesome.

Groggy Dundee said...

I've been reading Flashman's Lady for the past few days and I noticed that a character "goggled". Apparently that isn't Stine's invention after all.

Anonymous said...

ive just looked at all the conclusions on the reviews of the
G2000 series and only 4 out of the 22 books that have been reviewed have been good in troys opinion!.
Man,G2000 must be terrible,im only 12 at the moment and i'm really into goosebumps,but i have only found 1 G2000 book at the library so luckily i haven't been exsposed to how bad it is.

Yoda said...

Update soon, you must!

smells good said...

Troy Steele tastes nice

smells good said...

troy steele tastes nice

bobs chilli said...

in escape from horrorland the menace says that he brought them to horrorland because they were brave.So whatshisname(i cant remember his name)is supposed to be brave because he wrote a story that isnt even mildly scary?

chicken lover said...

bloggerbeware dosent post updates anymore.potter puppet pals dont post vidios anymore.internet backgammon plays up on my computer.the internet just isnt the same anymore goodbye cruel World Wide Web.my life on the internet is over.Goodbye.

Anonymous said...

This probably isn't going to get past moderation, but Troy if you don't update soon I am going to rape you senseless.

You heard me.

Blogger Beware Lover said...

Harry Potter used "Goggled" as well.

Wait,What about GraveYard ghouls? He never said he hated it. He said it was crazy. I agree. If by Crazy he means CRAY AWESOME!

And there's Horror Of The Black Ring. He said it wasn't that bad.

I loved Ghost In The Mirror. I hope he does to.

Slappy's Nightmare was Pretty Decent. Didn't like the twist though. 3 Guesses to what it is.

Never read Earth Geeks Must Go but I read the 3 chapter sneak peak from the back of Slappy's Nightmare. Only one word can sum it up:What.

Out of all the 2000 books I've only read:Cry of the Cat,Invasion of the Body Squeezers(Pt 1),Are You Terrified Yet?,Headless Halloween,GraveYard Ghouls,Scream School,The Mummy Walks, Full Moon Fever,Slappy's Nightmare,and Ghost In The Mirror. That makes 10. And only 4 were genuinely good(AYTY,AOTGG,GITM,TMW)

Anonymous said...

So the reason Troy hasn't been updating is I guess because "smells good" ate him?

Ken said...

Wow, Troy, Is Slappy's Nightmare really this bad?
We're all rootin for you, man...

smells good said...

i remebered the soft hair on my tongue,the warm meat sliding down my throat.

Anonymous said...

For those who care to know, "You Can't Scare Me!" has been announced for an upcoming rerelease, alongside HorrorLand #17, "The Wizard of Ooze." The cover art of the latter is very much of the Series 2000 school. I.e. actually frightening.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0545161983/

Tayyab said...

Troy. Do something.

Tayyab said...

Troy. Do something.

Tayyab said...

Troy. Do something.

Tayyab said...

Troy. Do something.

Tayyab said...

Troy. JUST DO SOMETHING!

TJ said...

I saw the cover for "The Wizard Of Oooze" and It looks fucking awesome!


Also,the Reissue for #17 is "You Can't Scare Me!"

boobys said...

please,please,pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee give us an update

Millie said...

Let us open a book on the fate of Troy: Was he eaten by "smells good", or raped senseless by the anon who threatened to do same? Place your bets here!

smells good said...

troy steele sounds good...
i just love the sizzling sound he makes in my frying pan

smells good said...

troy steele feels good...
especially when hes sliding down my throat

smells good said...

troy steele looks good...
especially when hes garnished with parsly and cheese

tastes good said...

smells good tastes good.

smells good said...

whoops did i say troy steele?i ment troys steel coloured,bacon flavered,bittersweet...
CUSTARD!!!

muh hah ha ha!!!
no more excuses for delayed updates now!

troy steele said...

Good entries come to those who wait. So do adequate and boring ones though, so who knows

Chewbacca said...

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

tastes good said...

yaah!! troy's finaly given some acknowlagement of actually existing! i guess he wasnt raped senseless either.

p.s.i just read slappys nightmare,i really enjoyed it actually.its also full of stuff perfect for mocking and puns.i cant wait for the update.

tastes good said...

Oh and i read go eat worms!i really enjoyed that too.sure,the main plot wasnt decent and didnt make sense with the giant worm and shit.sure the whole thing about it being about worms made it terrible.but after reading what seemed like 111 books worth of books confundingly stupid and horrible(when it was really only 2 or 3 books,but stine can write so terribly that he can make 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seem like infinity)and even thinking that i might have finally outgrown the series,i was able to see past the plot and just be entertained by the mildy amusing sibling squable between todd and regina, it was like reading the deathly hallows for the first time again(well not quite).

Anonymous said...

Troy's just playing hard-to-get.

Millie said...

... so, "smells good" ate Troy but is also pretending to BE Troy to put us off the scent? Confusion much?

The title "The Wizard of Ooze" makes me laugh way more than it should

Anonymous said...

Troy feels good. Especially after being raped by me! He felt so good on my dick.

troy steele said...

[citation needed]

forgotten sin said...

The Wizard of Ooze cover is actually pretty awesome. And I don't think there's been a cover that good since the original series.

Not fond of the new reissue covers so far. Dead House and Camp Nightmare look like crappy redos of the originals.

tastes good said...

i guess he did get raped senseless

smells good reincarnated as tastes good said...

()...so "smells good" ate troy but is also pretending to BE troy to put us off the scent()What on earth makes you think im pretending to BE troy?I have done nothing of the such.And as i have already mentioned i did not eat troy(that was a typo)i ate troy's steel coloured,bacon flavoured,bittersweet...CUSTARD!!!
And then iwas eaten by "tastes good",who turned out to be me reincarnated as him,because he was already me reincarnated as me and went back in time but dosnt make sense because- Oh yes it does actually thanks to the "parellel universes theory",but anyway the point is that smells good=tastes good.

P.S. I bet he was raped senseless.Unfortunately my stupid computer wouldnt let me put this comment in the space provided,titled "here".Anyway what do i win?

tastes good said...

Good news!!!the goosbumps horrorland series is being extended to at least 24 books! thats almost as much as G2000!theres gonna be updates forever!

Anonymous said...

This is... getting pretty creepy now, don't you think?

Millie said...

Attention fellow commenters: While I'm sure we all love Troy (some of us love him a bit too much, it seems,) he might have more time to write on this site if people didn't keep trying to rape/abduct/barbecue him every five minutes. Just a thought ...

Anonymous said...

tastes good, where did you hear about there being another five HorrorLand books? This is news to me.

Jay said...

Are we going to get any new entries? It's been months!!!

Great work as always Troy.

:)

Patricio said...

I think the Horrorland series was an interesting idea but feel that it was badly implemented. I've only read the first 7 books, so maybe I'm a little behind here, but in my opinion the actual stories suffered from being shortened to make room for the Horrorland bits at the end. Not to mention the fact that the Horrorland bits had absolutely nothing to do with the stories themselves. It was just like, 'Let's do a sequel to a book that was written 15 years ago - one that's not even similar to the original (Scream of the Haunted Mask, I'm looking at you...seriously, Stine turned a classic about trick-or-treating into a story about ghost horses...and then released it in spring...WTF), wrap it up with a twist ending 30 pages before the story should actually end, and then completely nullify the twist by having the characters safe and sound and on their way to Horrorland'. I get the impression that the Horrorland arc was more important and the stories themselves were an afterthought. And I HATE the use of cell phones and texts. 12 year olds shouldn't have cell phones to begin with.
I hate badmouthing RL Stine because he MADE my childhood, but damn, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Anonymous said...

Patricio, I agree with you on some points; the Goosebumps stories could definitely have done with being longer, and the silly twists should've been avoided if the protagonist's about to head off to HorrorLand. But this is a situation where I think The Scream Of The Haunted Mask got it right. The story was an interesting extension of the ideas used in the original, I don't recall it ending too abruptly, and the twist ending was entirely consistent with the HorrorLand arc. Revenge Of The Living Dummy - now there's an example of the whole stratagem being executed badly, very badly.

tj said...

"12 year olds shouldn't have cell phones to begin with."

Dude,I've seen EIGHT year olds with cells phones.

And only 3 books had twist endings. And 1 of them(My friends call me Monster) was refernced in the Horrorland parts.


Al the regular parts varried in quality but All the Horrorland Parts were awesome.


And only 1 book was Genuily Bad(Revenge Of The Living Dummy)

And books 12 was one of the best GB books ever

Groggy Dundee said...

"the actual stories suffered from being shortened to make room for the Horrorland bits at the end. Not to mention the fact that the Horrorland bits had absolutely nothing to do with the stories themselves."

100% in agreement.

"And I HATE the use of cell phones and texts. 12 year olds shouldn't have cell phones to begin with."

True, but sadly that does happen in real-life.

tastes good said...

anonymous:I found out about it on wikipedia

tastes good said...

patrico:i disagree.sream of the haunted mask was one of my favs.so was revenge of the living dummy.the worst one was #7 it sucked.i wasnt that fussed on the horrorland parts.they all seemed kinda similar and there wasnt much to them.+ if you put all the horrorland parts together it only spans over 3 days at the most.i was disappointed by #11 especially at the end when they go past their mAIN story villains;captain ben makes them jump off the plank and then they swim to the shore.Oooh,suspence.



after climbing a slippery fake mountain,being hit by paper mache and calling each other names and fighting each other, their all throughlly scared. and they were chosen because they wee brave.

tastes good said...

and troy can you pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease please,please do an update soon.Oh and make me a sandwich while ur at it.thanks.

tastes good said...

and dont forget the pickles.
i like sandwiches.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I felt the HorrorLand sequences failed to live up to their potential. Maybe the next seven books will be better at that, now Stine's had a bit more practice at a more continuity-based approach.

tastes good, I think that the news about the new five HorrorLand books on top of the new seven may have been made-up, but it's clear that they're popular; I wouldn't be surprised if Stine's allowed to do yet more.

Anonymous said...

After reading all 317 comments to find out about the lack of updates, I have two questions:

1. THEN WHO WAS NEWS?
2. When's the next review?

tastes good said...

no im certain that its not made up. 3 of them are the unpublished goosebumps gold and the last G2000 book(the incredible shrinking 5th grader)that didnt get published.the other one im not sure about.

Blogger Beware Lover said...

Now the books you mentioned of now deleted from Wikipeida's Goosebumps Horrorland article

Anonymous said...

On the subject of HorrorLand, we now have plots online for #17 and #18. The Wizard Of Ooze is another comic book story that sounds a little like Dr. Maniac vs. Robby Schwartz. Slappy New Year, on the other hand, has two completely different plots depending on what site you're looking at. One of them sounds like a new spin on Slappy, but the other one sounds like Night Of The Living Dummy rehashed for the Nth time, and sadly, that'll probably be the one that gets used.

Anonymous said...

An April Fools Joke:


Troy updating anytime soon

aarowrite said...

If anyone remembers the "Shivers" book, check out the blog I just started.

http://coldclammyshivers.blogspot.com

Yoda AND Chewbacca said...

Update soon, Troy must!

Grrrr....

Anonymous said...

Anyone remember STRANGE MATTER? They were released one or two years after GOOSEBUMPS started its brief "historic run," and I only ever got around to buying four of them (which I still have in a box, alongside my forty-eight (!!!) GOOSEBUMPS, but I remember them blowing Stine's formulaic dreck away, since they didn't depend on lame cliffhanger chapters and cheap twist-endings.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_Matter

The ones I have are: "A Place to Hide," "Driven to Death," "The Last One In," "Bad Circuits," and "Fly the Unfriendly Skies" (see, even the titles are much better!).

Anyway, in retrospect, I think STRANGE MATTER was the greatest child-oriented horror series of the 90s.

Has anyone else read these?

-Red Medicine

Anonymous said...

I enjoy reading this blog, but I had to get some work done. So I copied and pasted the entries into a Text File and selected the "Speak" option while performing menial tasks. You really haven't lived until you've heard your computer gravely deadpan "Jesus. This book." or "Dear R.L. Stine. Get fucked."

troy steele said...

Now there's a podcast I could get behind.

Groggy Dundee said...

I read two of the Shivers books as a kid, one had a haunting swimming pool and I'm damned if I can remember the other one. They were a lot more serious and mature than Goosebumps if memory serves.

troy steele said...

I was more of a Bone Chillers kid myself. Now a Bone Chillers Blog, that I'd read

Blogger Beware Lover said...

I've read a few Shivers books.

I'll say it right now. I HATE the Shivers. They are so fucking stupid. I couldn't make it past the first chapter of the jungle one.


Now Bone Chillers. Those were great.

I remember watching the Bone Chillers TV Series. Man was that ever campy. It made the Goosebumps Tv Show look like Friday The 13th.

amnesiophilia said...

Shivers TERRIFIED me. There was one in particular, Soul Harvest, where the population of a small town turned to Satanism (but horror movie style Satanism, not actual Satanism) and it culminated in everyone but the protagonist marching through the streets, chanting the Lord's prayer backwards and offering their souls to be harvested by this Grim Reaper-looking mother on the cover.

Slime that grows did not really compare.

Millie said...

Someone did actually start a blog devoted to the "Strange Matter" series: http://revisitingstrangematter.blogspot.com/. I did read most of Bone Chillers at some point but can only remember the one in which a school is taken over by giant insects (and throwing up copiously after it thanks to a particular scene I will not describe here!)

troy steele said...

That one with the insect lunchroom stuff was truly a one-way ticket to Vom City

Blogger Beware Lover said...

Troy should start The Bone Chillers blog.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

"That one with the insect lunchroom stuff was truly a one-way ticket to Vom City"

Ah yes, I remember that book... it was about the only one in the series I definitely read all the way through.

In other news... you have three books to go until the end of GB2K. Hint Hint.

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Anonymous said...

The rotting-garbage-monster-under-the-bed Bone Chillers was a feast for the sick bag.

Strange Matters had style, and sometimes went into areas not every juvenile horror series went into: I can remember a helpful scientist lady in the haunted drive-in theater book being shrunk to the size of a beetle and then crushed underfoot in gruesome detail! To this day I'm still turning down positions at experimental shrink ray labs.

Elizabeth said...

Here's a discussion question since Troy hasn't updated yet: What, if any, do you think were some of the best-acted characters in the episodes of the Goosebumps show?

tastes good said...

Elizabeth:(qoute that i found on a sugur packet)I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that i dont know the answer(quote that i found on a sugar packet)

tastes good said...

Hey has anyone read the new 39 clues series?They're really good.

tj said...

2 Words: Galloping Gazelle

Anonymous said...

Based on some of the comments posted above, I checked out the televised version of Bone Chillers on YouTube, and wasn't disappointed by what I found. This has to be the corniest fluff I've ever seen:

It's called "Franken Turkey"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_xH8agqwN4

-Red Medicine

tj said...

The Bone Chiller's Show is a classic example of So Bad It's Good.

Anonymous said...

Where the fuck is the update troy? Almost everyday i check and no update. It's quite sad. Like in a horror movie when u judt keep praying for the blood and gore to show up, or the main charactor to stop being wussy ( THE VAMPIRE"S ASSISTANT movie and MONSTER BLOOD) and it doesn't deliver. :(

troy steele said...

Just wait til I blow your minds when the blog goes back on a regular schedule. Until then, patience, &c

tastes good said...

okey dokey

tastes good said...

ive just read earth geeks must go! and it is terrible.it makes no sense at all and is most crappily written G book ive ever read.its not as unpleasent to read as MB IV but it still isnt writtenwell. i suspect Stine went to the "apothery" before writing this.

Anonymous said...

Just read "Little Shop of Hamsters." It rivals Revenge Of The Lawn Gnomes for the most mundane enemy ever.

troy steele said...

Jesus Christ, is there really a Goosebumps book called "Little Shop of Hamsters"?

Anonymous said...

The worst part is how proud R.L. sounds whenever he mentions the title.

Spongey444 said...

Surprised Troy didn't this despite SEVERAL comments mentioned it. At Lawn gnomes are kinda creepy looking.

troy steele said...

I must've blocked it out, Katharine Hepburn in Suddenly, Last Summer-style

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

Yep... the titles of all seven books in this arc have long since been revealed:

13. When the Ghost Dog Howls - released January 2010
14. Little Shop of Hamsters - released March 2010
15. Heads, You Lose - due out May 2010
16. Weirdo Halloween - due out July 2010
17. The Wizard of Ooze - due out September 2010
18. Slappy New Year - due out November 2010
19. Return to Chiller House - presumably due out in January 2011. (Title revealed via R.L. Stine's Twitter page. Its companion reissue has not been identified yet.)

Some idiot keeps posting additional titles on Wikipedia (including a sequel to "Beware, The Snowman"), but those are fake.

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Anonymous said...

can someone ask rl.stine on his twitter page whether the goosebumps gold series and the incredible shrinking 5th grader will be published?

Millie said...

I still can't believe he went with "The Wizard of Ooze"

Anonymous said...

Would you feel better or worse that he wasn't the first to?

Dogma said...

A: How am I Just finding this site now?? So epic.

B: According to "Manswers" A Hampster can drink 50times more than a human. 0_0

Something to do with their liver.

I think if Stine had known this "little shop of hampsters" could have been a way better book lmao.....maybe.

Looking forward to the next update. Peace.

Elizabeth said...

"Little Shop of Hamsters" sounds like a hamster-specific pet store that you would find in a small town. In fact, I bet that it's going to take place in a small town - which the main character has just moved to with his scientist parents.

Spongey444 said...

The Wizard Of Ooze? That's 2nd Wizard Of Oz reference I've seen this month.

Anonymous said...

h

Anonymous said...

l

Anonymous said...

e

Anonymous said...

l

Anonymous said...

o

Cookie Monster sad said...

ive just got out of rehab,
but ive been feeling really sad,
because there's been no updates for a long, long time
and im not allowed cookies:
im only allowed lime
and it tastes real bad and this is why im sad.:(

Spongey444 said...

Troy,have you been pulled in by the Twitter Craze yet?

Anonymous said...

R.L. Stine has! You could tweet each other, Troy! It would be so dreadfully... TWEE.

tastes good said...

i just went on amazon and found a copy of little shop of hamsters selling 4 $2500 + $4 postasge and shipping.what a bargain.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

Big news: Stine's going to write six more Goosebumps HorrorLand books. He revealed this in a video interview given yesterday (May 3, 2010). And I've already posted the news, with a reference included, on Wikipedia.

And no, even HE doesn't know what they'll be yet. So that guy that kept posting fake titles did NOT have some kind of insider source or anything.

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Anonymous said...

Troy, have you considered writing a script? It looks like a new movie is in the works. At least, I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

sabrina_diamond said...

That werewolf lookss so hideous, it doesn't deserve to be on the cover. In other words: What. I normally love werewolves, but the redness, bleurgh...

Moodizzle said...

I always enjoyed reading R.L. Stine growing up as a kid. Some of the movies Fangoria frightfest a putting out closely resemble old Goosebumps tales, but are superior in scare content.

http://tinyurl.com/33gl2w7

Anonymous said...

hey troy, if you can't post a new blogger beware post, could you start doing something besides goosebumps? seriously, I'd read anything you'd write, as long as it was humourous.

Natasha said...

Shouldn't be called 'Full Moon Fever'. It should be called 'Half Moon Sucker'. What a stupid story, I'd rather read 'Hansel and Gretel'. No, that sucks too. Poor you, wasting your time on this. And, thanks for the pretty letters, but sorry, Christmas isn't quite near. Oh and answers are here,Tayyab:

Q1 : Both are BAAAAAAAD
Q2 : Sorry, I haven't any favorite ones, and I hate all of them.

Anonymous said...

I have:
1-62 of the originals
1-15 of series 2000
1-17 and 19 of Horrorland
1-6 of the hall of horrors
1-3 of the most wanted
1 3 5 7 9 10 11 12 13 17 36 of the give yourself
And 3 of the tales ones
I think that's all

«Oldest ‹Older   201 – 385 of 385   Newer› Newest»