Friday, December 31, 2010

The Horror, The Horror(land)

Why do people on the internet still outbid me on Goosebumps books? Don't they know I'm a celebrity

64 comments:

Great escaper said...

A dead celebrity.

Hannah Culbert said...

They're fools, Troy. Fools, all of them. Clearly they are not aware of your higher purpose, the philistines!

Tam Lin said...

You can't just break down and go to Amazon? Or, better yet, a book store?

DarkfireTaimatsu said...

I like the implications of this topic title, though. =3

I have been buying all the new HorrorLand books, just because it might take Troy a while to get to them, if ever.

Revengeofevan said...

Does this mean you will do the horrorland series? OH JOY!

forgotten sin said...

Think of all the car wash money they wasted outbidding you.

Kenuz said...

More Goosebumps books is probably the worst belated Christmas gift ever in the first place.

However, more blog entries would be the best belated Christmas gift.

Damian Garcia said...

It's probably Stine trying to stop you. The fiend!

I trust you can do it Troy!

Anonymous said...

And somewhere, deep in his mansion, R.L Stine laughed evilly and sipped his wine as he bid five cents higher than Troy just as the auction closed.

Andrew said...

Cool, a new update that is neither actual entry nor stock photo.

Why don't you ask us to donate, and make you suffer through stuff that we enjoyed as kids but may be embarrassed about now?

'Course, the only books I still have are ones from the original series...which you soldiered through.

Also, will you ever look at the TV show at all? Sometimes it produced better results than the book...

chickenlover said...

I STILL Love U TROY!!!

chickenlover said...

you did it troy 2 updates in a year!

Necroman said...

Because they're assholes? :V

David Maxwell said...

Darkfire!
It's taking Troy a while to get to the Horrorland books BECAUSE you've been buying them all up.
Also, it's really hard to say the name "Darkfire Taimatsu" and sound serious. In fact, I bet that's probably not even your real name

Anonymous said...

Foreshadowing of Inevitable Insanity Alert:

Friday, December 31, 2010
The Horror, The Horror(land)
Why do people on the internet still outbid me on Goosebumps books? Don't they know I'm a celebrity

DarkfireTaimatsu said...

But I buy mine from Amazon. (And only because the local bookstore closed.)

Also, if DarkfireTaimatsu is too much, just Tai is fine.

Natasha said...

Poor you. Havin ta write these things. PBS kids gonna be more interesting than this.

We hope that Stine don't come n' see these c'ments nor your posts. He's gonna do s'mthin really bad if he do.

Anonymous said...

I hope Troy is aware that Goosebumps HorrorLand is still ongoing and won't be done until AT LEAST 2012...

Anonymous said...

Thus dooming the world to destruction just as the final book rolls off the line.

Anonymous said...

Was Troy actually bidding on the HorrorLand books, or is he (are you) just having trouble getting some of the oustanding 2000 or other spin-off books? Which reminds me, I need to buy Slappy New Year. In the actual New Year! Who'd've thought.

chickenlover said...

Grated Ham must die!

Anonymous said...

I just read Slappy New Year, incidentally. It was... it was more like Slappy Old Year, i.e. exactly the same as every previous Slappy book. I can't think of a single unique idea save that the protagonists were boys.

I think that maybe either Stine or his publishers think he has to write a Slappy book every few years, or in every fresh series, because Slappy's such a star that they think kids will buy it just for him.

(Also, what is with the cover artist continually depicting the human HorrorLand characters as being Horrors.)

forgotten sin said...

Slappy is to Goosebumps, as John Ratzenberger is to Pixar. you just can't have a goosebumps franchise without him.

Anonymous said...

Great news - they're reissuing Vampire Breath!

Groggy Dundee said...

I read the latest book, Horror at Chiller House, today. It starts off interestingly, with a prologue about the main villain's childhood that reads like low-rent Ray Bradbury, which by Stine standards is good. Then it turns into typical wackiness and I lose interest. And a kid shoots himself in the foot with a crossbow.

Anonymous said...

The Five Masks Of Dr. Screem has an amazing cover:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/054528936X/

Anonymous said...

A kid shoots himself in the foot with a crossbow and it's not some lame chapter break? So it doesn't turn out it's like a NERF crossbow or something?

Count me in!

forgotten sin said...

They're also reissuing Phantom of the Auditorium. The only book I believe that didn't get a rerelease prior.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

"A kid shoots himself in the foot with a crossbow and it's not some lame chapter break? So it doesn't turn out it's like a NERF crossbow or something?"

Yep. They really did have a kid shooting himself in the foot with a crossbow. No Mind Screwing with the audience, for once.

"They're also reissuing Phantom of the Auditorium. The only book I believe that didn't get a rerelease prior."

One of five that never got reissued, actually. "Legend of the Lost Legend" and books 60-62 ("Werewolf Skin", "I Live in Your Basement!" and "Monster Blood IV") were the others.

And of course, "Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes" is one of the reissues due out this year. (Good for me because I don't have a copy yet. Bad for Troy because he hated it.) Then "Phantom of the Auditorium", and "Vampire Breath" after that. No word yet on the last four yet.

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Anonymous said...

Recently I found a non-horror book by R.L. Stine in my basement, called "The Amazing Adventures of Me, Myself, and I." It's from the 1980s and was a little comedy about a kid who accidentally creates twins of himself. One of the chapters concerns the boy going to see his friend Andy to tell him what's happened. The chapter ends with great suspense when the boy sees that *gasp* ANDY HAS A TWIN TOO!!! OMIGOD!!!...And then the next chapter starts off with the boy saying to himself, "Of course Andy has a twin! He and his brother Randy are identical twins. I forgot about that." Lamest. Cliffhanger. Ever.

It's nice to know R.L. was using the same ol' cheap gimmicks way before "Goosebumps".

forgotten sin said...

Yeah, I don't know why I thought it was the only one that didn't get a rerelease.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

"Yeah, I don't know why I thought it was the only one that didn't get a rerelease."

Well, you were close - it's the OLDEST one that didn't get a rerelease between September '03 and June '07.

Personally, I keep hoping that even when the HorrorLand series ends, they'll keep up the Classic Goosebumps reissues until all 62 are out. (Along with the other 101 books that were released during the '92-2000 time period - yes, counting "Screams in the Night" and the two autobiographies. It would be 104 if you count the first three "Tales to Give You Goosebumps" books, which were reissued in a hardcover omnibus format in 2004. The three "Goosebumps Graphix" novels are not included in this total, as they were released in '06 and '07.)

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Anonymous said...

But Anon E, surely at this rate the HorrorLand series will never end?

NotSoAnonymous said...

I can't believe the Horrorland series is still ongoing. There can't be that many 90s retrospectionists out there ... can there?

I admit only to buying Streets of Panic Park out of (morbid) curiosity.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

"But Anon E, surely at this rate the HorrorLand series will never end?"

We can hope. For the moment, Stine is only contracted for six more books (the six-part "Hall of Horrors" arc), as initially revealed on Twitter around last May, and the first one is due out this March. He recently revealed that he started writing the latest book (didn't say which one) on the first of this month.

And on a related note: someone asked him "if you had to choose, what was the worst book you've written?" His exact response: "I haven't written my worst book yet. I'll probably start on it soon."

All I can say in response to that is, "Sheesh."

"There can't be that many 90s retrospectionists out there ... can there?"

Given they've been reissuing Goosebumps, Ghosts of Fear Street, Babysitter's Club (as I noted while glancing across the shelves at the local Borders) AND, as of this May, Animorphs... yeah, it looks like there really are.

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Anonymous said...

Where I live, they're not even releasing The Horror At Chiller House until March. For some reason they shoved it back by several months.

Oh well, at least I'm not buying the classic reissues any more. The extra content stopped being worth it when I realised they weren't going to stop. Although I think I heard one of the more recent ones had an interview with R.L. again? My recollection is that in the last one he was extremely evasive.

Groggy Dundee said...

"I can't believe the Horrorland series is still ongoing. There can't be that many 90s retrospectionists out there ... can there?"

You think nostalgic teens/adults are the target audience? How about a new generation of kids who haven't exposed to Goosebumps?

Anonymous said...

Wanna see someone tear into a hilariously awful book?
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/lb_index.php?lb_id=12961808930B36662900 is a "liveblog" of just that. There actually is an author out there who's far worse than R. L. Stine, believe it or not.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

More news on the Goosebumps front: On Stine's twitter, he mentioned he was outlining the sixth Hall of Horrors book, "The Birthday Party of No Return". (This may or may not just be a working title.)

Another post, and a news article on his official website, seem to suggest that book 19 was the last of the HorrorLand books, and "Hall of Horrors" is a new Goosebumps series entirely. It still retains its connection to HorrorLand though, as the Hall of Horrors itself is IN HorrorLand.

This in no way affects the Classic Goosebumps reissues as far as I can tell, by the way. They're still going on as usual.

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Anonymous said...

Hall Of Horrors is pretty obviously still an extension of HorrorLand, though. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it won't turn out to be a dog or something.

yor mumm said...

if u happen 2 feel like reading some shit then read the intro of "FEAR" by r.l

Anonymous said...

wtf is wrong with this Anon guy? It's one thing to enjoy a good laugh at books we grew up with but you know way too much about goosebumps, christ. Go outside.

charlene said...

WHERE ARE U TROI

Hi said...

Still on a twice a year update schedule I see.

Anonymous said...

To Comment #42: There's nothing wrong with having a hobby. And let's face it, we're all here on a blog dedicated to reviewing every single Goosebumps book, including obscure ones that nobody's ever heard of.

DarkfireTaimatsu said...

Well, I just got the first Hall of Horrors book, Claws!, in the mail finally. If this book isn't a complete rehash of Cry of the Cat, I will eat it. But seriously, you gotta respect R.L. Stine's ability to rip himself off. Reader, beware, you're in for recycled scares!

Anonymous said...

I do sort of suspect that some of the HorrorLand books are R.L. trying to repackage some of his older plots for a new audience. Then again, apparently his editors have to approve the plot synopses he submits, so maybe they're just really big fans of rehashes.

chickenlover said...

"wtf is wrong with this Anon guy? It's one thing to enjoy a good laugh at books we grew up with but you know way too much about goosebumps, christ. Go outside."

Bitch.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

To the ones who responded to the guy telling me to go outside... I appreciate it. To said guy... I'm a geek. And I know full well that I spend way too much time on the 'net. But let's face it: reading, researching and writing are how I maintain my sanity.

"I do sort of suspect that some of the HorrorLand books are R.L. trying to repackage some of his older plots for a new audience. Then again, apparently his editors have to approve the plot synopses he submits, so maybe they're just really big fans of rehashes."

Indeed.

Speaking of rehashes... I may or may not have said it here, but I am fairly certain the second "Hall of Horrors" book, "Night of the Giant Everything", is actually Stine finally releasing "The Incredible Shrinking Fifth-Grader", a book that has been long finished, but was never published due to the G2K series being canceled. (It would have been number 26, as I recall.)

(Also, it's probably been said, but I am also fairly certain that two of the three announced "Goosebumps Gold" books were polished up and finally released in the two earlier HorrorLand arcs, "The Haunted Mask Lives!" as "The Scream of the Haunted Mask" and "Slappy New Year!" under its original title. Only time will tell if he ever gets around to publishing "Happy Holidays From Dead House". He hasn't said anything online about Hall of Horrors #5 yet, so it could fill that spot... or he could be saving it for later. Book 6's title is mentioned in one of my above posts, so I know it can't be that one.)

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

forgotten sin said...

Amazon just released Hall Of Horrors Book 4's title: "Why I Quit Zombie School"

No cover yet, but interesting title.

Also, apparently book 5 is called "Don't Scream!".

Anonymous said...

Actually, there IS a cover.

http://www.rlstinefansite.com/viewtopic.php?f=120&t=1165&sid=75334c835b84b4f4870ee65b76e6af4f

Anonymous said...

#51, are you plugging that site? I notice we have to register to see the cover, which you could presumably simply have image-linked.

Oh well, seems like we have the titles for the entirety of the Hall of Horrors now! And I don't think any of them are even out yet where I live.

Spongey444 said...

Oh, I forgot about image link.

Anonymous said...

Never mind, it's on Google Images. Doesn't look bad, actually.

chickenlover said...

did they even publish any copies of weirdo halloween that werent "special edition"?

Anonymous said...

Doubt it. "Special Edition" seemed to just be a way of saying that it was longer than an ordinary book in the series. I think the upcoming The Five Masks Of Dr. Screem is meant to be the same.

forgotten sin said...

Amazon has "Stay out of the Basement" Listed as a classic GB re release.

Groggy Dundee said...

Just read Claws over the weekend. It had some similarities to Cry of the Cat but no one transformed into a cat, so that's good. Plus it has what's now one of my all-time favorite Goosebumps lines:

"You've upset the entire Cat Universe!"

Anonymous said...

Great Prose Alert right there. I've only just ordered The Horror At Chiller House, which for some reason was delayed for months in the U.K... I'm anticipating a Not Worth The Wait Alert for that.

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

"did they even publish any copies of weirdo halloween that werent "special edition"?"

Nope. And sources indicate that "Hall of Horrors #3" will be the same way.

In other news, got the two latest books today... "Claws!" had a rather interesting explanation for its events, and it's official: this is a new series. "Claws" is "Goosebumps HorrorLand: Hall of Horrors #1".

The other one I got is the reissue of "Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes". And it is just as lame as Troy has said. (But that didn't stop me from finishing it.)

Another one down, and just ten more to go before I'll have all 62 of the originals. (Still missing "The Barking Ghost", "A Shocker on Shock Street", "The Haunted Mask II", "The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena", "Bad Hare Day", "Egg Monsters From Mars", "Legend of the Lost Legend", "Werewolf Skin", "I Live in Your Basement!" and "Monster Blood IV". And yes, I know five of those are on Troy's "Ten Worst Goosebumps books" list. But one more is on his "Ten Best Goosebumps books" list. And the other four are somewhere in between.)

Let the reissues roll on... two more are known ("Phantom of the Auditorium" and "Stay Out of the Basement!"), and there will definitely be at least three more. (And hopefully 37 more after that to finish the series.)

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

Anonymous said...

Well, I read The Horror At Chiller House. The prologue was okay, in that it didn't read exactly the same as any other Goosebumps book, but after that, eh... feels like a pretty underwhelming conclusion to the arc. Everything the kids had to do in their own books was more dramatic than what they had to do here.

Also it had a price sticker on the back made using the stickiest material in the world. I couldn't just peel it, I had to clean it off with a cloth.

Groggy Dundee said...

"he prologue was okay, in that it didn't read exactly the same as any other Goosebumps book,"

Like I said elsewhere it reminded me in a good way of Ray Bradbury. I'm not sure what it had to do with the rest of the story (I didn't even realize it was the series finale) but I liked it.

Anonymous said...

I guess the prologue explains the villain a bit more and means that his actions and defeat don't come completely out of nowhere? Even though, uh, that's actually the usual mould for Goosebumps villains... still, it was unusually interesting to see what the villain was like as a kid who could easily have been a Goosebumps protagonist in his own time. Goosebumps getting into history a bit more is part of what made The Scream Of The Haunted Mask so good.

Jess said...

Ok so, based on what I've gathered, is it safe to say that "My Friends Call Me Monster", "Dr. Maniac vs Robby Schwartz" and "Scream of the Haunted Mask" are the 3 best Horrorland entries? I only own Revenge of the Living Dummy and Streets of Panic Park so I was just wondering.