Monday, May 09, 2011

More Tales to Give You Goosebumps



More Tales to Give You Goosebumps: Goosebumps Special Edition #2

Back Tagline: Reader Beware-- You're In For Ten Summertime Scares!

Official Summary: Is Matt's summer camp being taken over by an evil patch of poison ivy? Will Eric escape from his tank, now that he's been turned into a fish? Can Tara help the terrified voice she hears inside a beautiful seashell?
Find out in these ten creepy Goosebumps short stories perfect for reading around the campfire or under the covers!


As I'm sure you all remember from the last time I talked about these books some thirteen years ago, the first Special Edition Goosebumps gift set came exclusively packed with a logo-branded Itty Bitty Book Light. I had assumed that the exorbitant price of the hastily-compiled short story collection did little to help coat the pill of one of the earliest (and nowhere near last) cash-grabs in the history of the series. So even in retrospect it's somewhat surprising that the set sold well enough to warrant a second entry. Following in the true Goosebumps-fashion of when in doubt, recreate an existing product, this set's special feature is unbelievably another Itty Bitty Book Light. Surely kids aren't that dumb, right? Well, they made four more gift sets after this one, so add that to your Gen Y denunciations, American Media.


the Werewolf's First Night

How to write your very own Goosebumps short story:

Step 01
Name your main character (Sex unimportant, must be twelve years old)


Brian is twelve years old.

Step 02
Quickly introduce, then separate the parents from the protagonist


Brian's parents have signed him up for a day camp that appears to employ no counselors and only a handful of other kids enrolled. So basically they've signed him up to join a gang.

Step 03
Have protagonist jump to conclusions that eventually turn out to be false


Everyone at this camp is a werewolf.

Step 04
In stunning twist, have false conclusion bring about the actual conclusion, which must either be as or less credible than the perceived conclusion


No one at this camp is a werewolf. Except for Brian, who is a werewolf.


P.S. Don't Write Back
David Stevenson is having a great time at Camp Timber Lake Hills. He's keen on his bunkmates but not so keen on their grumpy camp counselor, Sam. Sam likes to tease David about how few letters he receives. And by few, I mean zero. And by tease, I mean mock. And by David, I mean David. Finally though, one day David has reason to wag his tail and wail when Sam announces that the camp's secretary found a letter addressed to him at the bottom of a drawer. But the letter's contents put a damper in this camper, as his mom has only written to tell him that they won't be visiting him on Visiting Day. Uh, is it even legal for them to refer to it as that, then? The note ends with the titular postscript:
Love,
Mom and Dad
PS: More Tales To Give You Goosebumps
This news bothers David, as he's a kid and the world revolves around him. Take comfort in knowing that at least this story revolves around you, David. David gets another letter the next day announcing that after camp ends, he is going to be sent to live with his Great-Uncle John. David's now very confused, as his life is starting to resemble a terrible Hallmark special: Great-Uncle John is 87 years old and probably not the best guardian for a child. Or is he? Watch Welcome to Gramp's Nightmare next Sunday at 8/7c, only on ION.

David sneaks into the offices to phone his mother (remember, this is a Goosebumps camp story, so the phones are OFF LIMITS) but is interrupted by Sam. On his way out, David notices a mistake in the letter addressed to him: It's for David Stevenson from Camp Timber Lane Hills. He's at Camp Timber Lake Hills, Camp Timber Lane Hills is across the lake. So the Lake is across the lake from the Lane in the hills, which sounds like the start of a Danny Kaye routine.

David comes up with a brilliant plan: Since the letters were obviously meant for a camper with his same name and family across the lake, he'll sneak over in a rowboat and deliver them. But the flaw in his reasoning is made clear when he encounters the other camp's David Stevenson and discovers he's some dead kid or something. David Alive shows the zombies some what for before quickly retreating back to his camp.

Upon arriving back, he makes the terrifying discovery that the camp across the lake burned down thirty years ago. He then checks the postmark on his letter and notices it's from 1964. Okay, so I get the first letter being stuck in a drawer, but where did that second letter come from? USPS is inefficient, sure, but not to the extent that they go so far bad that they circle back and inadvertently become efficient from a plot perspective. So, what I'm saying is, enjoy getting dumped at your uncle's, dude.


Something Fishy



In case you're convinced this one deserves more than my glib YouTube response, feast on this:

"Please don't flush me! Please don't flush your only son, Mom!"


You Gotta Believe Me!
A parable of class consciousness, Red Labor Stine has finally produced a work fit for the fit to work. A young child, free of technological ties to mass media, uses his spare time to survey the night sky for potential threats to the homeland. One night, the intrepid child spies colored lights in the sky. Upon investigating crop-circles at a for-profit farm, the boy is met with disgust from the bourgeois landowner and instructed to leave "his" land. The boy tries to tell his parents of his experience over breakfast the next morning, but his father, distraught from the news of local plant shutting its doors on the unionized workers, speaks only to his son of "Another defeat for the workers." The child respects his father's compassion for his brothers, but presses the importance of the alien threat.

That night, in the spirit of communal ownership, the boy "borrows" his father's camera in order to snap photographic surveillance of the aerial invaders. The child snakes back to the farm and witnesses the alien crafts land in the fields of the bougie baddie, who luckily is spotted from his living room window, enraptured by the false comforts of television. The boy overhears the plans of the alien race to enslave the common man via mass televised signal the following night. The boy is caught by the creatures and feigns hypnosis to buy his freedom. After the aliens release him, he takes $140 worth of aluminum foil on credit from the local capitalist merchant and creates a giant foil screen to scramble the signal and foul the aliens' plot. His plan is successful, proving that there ain't no party like the communist party cuz the communist party stops aliens.


Suckers!
The only thing worth mentioning about story, other than it being one big "Oh cool, I've seen the Blob and Creepshow 2," is that it takes place on "Black Island."


Dr. Horror's House of Video
Ben Adams is a huge horror fan, so he's spent his entire summer vacation indoors watching scary movies. As the story opens, he's watching a flick about a plant that lifts its victims "Up Up Up". I dunno, a plant that gets people high... who'd ever believe that?

But all bud things must come to a spent and his mom eventually boots Ben out of the house. Like many have done in his situation before him, Ben goes to the video store. Only this is no ordinary video store... it's Dr. Horror's House of Video? It's no surprise that the owner is stuck running a video store, as I could have told him that a doctorate in horror has about as much real job market value as an undergraduate degree in broadcasting.

Things go from sad to sadder when it is revealed that Dr. Horror is an amateur low budget horror filmmaker. Dr. Horror shows him a scene from his latest opus, Lizardman, but Ben gets dragged off before he can finish watching. But one cannot watch only part of a part-lizard, part-man movie, so Ben races back the following day to finish viewing the film. The store is closed but Ben goes in anyways, since breaking and entering in the Goosebumps world is about as frowned upon as MDMA use in Skins. Ben finishes the film but now finds the front door locked. Luckily there's a back door... leading right to Dr. Horror's makeshift garage studio. Rather than being upset that Ben's broken into his closed business, Dr. Horror Swanbergs him into starring in the new Lizardman sequel. But first he must call his parents to get permission for a strange doctor to tape him doing various acts in his garage.

Unfortunately, before Ben can Gerwig out for Dr. Horror, the entire cast of the General Mills Breakfast Brigade descends on the boy and is suddenly dawns on him that hey, wait a minute, slasher-style horror movies only serve to fuel misanthropic misogynistic angst on the part of the viewer by feeding into their basest fantasies borne out of social rejection.


the Cat's Tale
Marla is upset that her family packed up and moved from NYC to River Falls. She misses taxis. She misses her friends. She misses Friends. She misses the total lack of anything resembling legroom at the Film Forum. But at least River Falls has thunderstorms! Apparently it never rains in NYC, which will be news to NYC.

Marla's family takes advantage of the storm to start exchanging spooky tales, but like RL Stine, Marla has no interest in telling scary stories. She'd much rather prefer for a large black cat to jump through the open window and attack her. She's in luck! Marla begs her parents to let her keep the cat and they relent. Marla jumps at the opportunity to shower her new pet with attention but her attention is diverted when her new pet jumps into the shower with her. No, I'm not going to make that joke. Stop looking for it.

Turns out the cat is trying to steal Marla's life before it runs out of its nine lives or something. And there's cat whispering.


Shell Shocker
Tara and Tommy are arguing about who has rightful claim to a beautiful seashell found washed ashore at the beach. Tommy only wants it to listen to the ocean, even though Tara knows you can't really hear the ocean inside a shell. Tara desperately wants the shell as her own and envisions an elaborate reception awaits her subsequent arrival at school with the shell in tow. And yet somehow she finds time to make fun of her brother for being stupid?

Tara wins and when she humors her brother, she hears a dim voice from within the shell crying out to be saved. Tara believes the voice and follows its directions towards an out of the way cave where she is promised the biggest seashell in the world if she helps the being trapped in the smaller shell. And so it goes, as Tara is tricked into traveling deep within the cave and is greeted with her prize: the giant shell. And inside, of course, is the giant hermit crab, who snatches her in its claws as the little voice from within the smaller shell cries out to his mother that he's tricked yet another victim. So, okay, this one was actually pretty good.


Poison Ivy
Leave it be.


the Spirit of the Harvest Moon
Jenny and her family camp out at a friendly nearly-abandoned lodge deep in the woods. Their first night in the cabins, Jenny hears a ghostly voice call out her name. The next day she is warned that the lodge is haunted and should the ghost catch her on the night of the harvest moon, she will be forced to live a year as mist. This is some threat, because I didn't want to see the Mist for two hours, so I certainly wouldn't want to be it for a year. She tries to laugh off the warning, but the friendly cabin hand tells her if she thinks she can escape the wrath of the spiritual delinquents, she's got another thing comin'!

Harvest moon night arrives and Jenny becomes convinced that Tyler, the twelve year old son of the cabin owners, is actually the spirit he warned against. Her suspicions seemingly prove accurate when Tyler starts banging on her door, demanding she come a little bit closer and hear what he has to say. Luckily, her dog, Bravo, chases after the boy and scares away the spirit for good. Only, turns out he wasn't the spirit at all, as the dog then turns to Jenny and spookily intones, "Roll that ethereal being footage." I guess his bark was worse than his sprite?


Here's to a Blogger Beware season that's all summer, no bummer!

150 comments:

DarkfireTaimatsu said...

I actually bought this one a while back, specifically because Troy hadn't gotten to it yet. I always imagined what he'd say about it. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle.

The other half is not wasting your money, because the one with Susie Snowflake is the only Tales book really worth it. I wish I had found that one instead.

And yes, it still counts as wasting your money when you buy the first three Tales books in a hardback compilation volume for $7. With a giftcard.

Anonymous said...

Pretty much the usual miss-and-miss format, then? I'm really glad you did this one; there's been a gaping void in my heart that could only be filled by more tales to not give me goosebumps at all.

Anonymous said...

Dammit, now I'm actually intrigued as to what happens in Something Fishy.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, someone give me a synopsis for Something Fishy.

I HAVE TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, I actually DO remember reading this one.

Yet I remembered all but nothing about them up until now.

Now I see why.

Jackson Bee said...

When I was little I was incredibly terrified of Goosebumps. Like, I couldn't walk past them in the library terrified. I grew out of that, of course, but this blog is an excellent reminder that I was a retarded child.

Anonymous said...

"Something Fishy" was about a kid who bought some pirahna or something, but somehow became the size of a fish and fell in the tank. I dunno, it's something like that, it's been years since I've read it.

Millie said...

So "PS - Don't Write Back" is basically a knock-off of "The Ghost Next Door?" Is David a ghost/zombie as well?

Groggy Dundee said...

Thanks for doing this one, Troy. I won this book in a school auction in 5th or 6th Grade. I always enjoyed it more than the other short story collections.

Also, definitely your best entry since Slappy's Nightmare. I laughed pretty hard at your analysis of the alien story.

Anonymous said...

Damn it troy, stop teasing us with promises of horrorland then do something else!

Well anyway, i've been waiting for this one since forever.


My favorite line:

"Marla's family takes advantage of the storm to start exchanging spooky tales, but like RL Stine, Marla has no interest in telling scary stories"

Anonymous said...

Regarding The Cat's Tale: Oh cool, I've read the Cry of the Cat review too.

An Angry Customer said...

Troy, please link the new posts to the list. Now. Like, now. Okay, i can see that you have not done it yet. Now, okay? i dont even care if you approve this comment, just link the new posts.

DarkfireTaimatsu said...

Watch, we'll get a retrospective on these 60 short stories next instead of HorrorLand. =3

Anonymous said...

I swear R.L Stine never had a childhood. Never.

Anonymous said...

This reminds me; why did Stine get published in the first?

And since people keep asking:

Something Fishy was about a boy who somehow shrinks down to the size of a fish and explores his fish tank. At the end, his mother brings him two pira├▒as as a gift while he's in the fish tank, implying that he's eaten by said fish.

Millie said...

In all fairness to Troy he appears to have been planning to do Horrorland before we asked him for a retrospective on the 2000 books ... and then to do this one ...

Anyone know what the "Poison Ivy" story was?

Anonymous said...

I'm fine with Troy not starting HorrorLand this week (or last). He has to do the remaining odds and ends sometime! (Or else.) They are both necessary and funny. And also one-offs. It's not like next week he's going to begin a fifty-part Year Of Give Yourself Goosebumps.

DarkfireTaimatsu said...

Oh, good, that compilation volume IS useful. Here's what "Poison Ivy" was about for those curious:

Oh, cool, I've read "Weeds" AKA "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill" by Stephen King, too.

And it turns out there were mosquitos or something.

Groggy Dundee said...

The fish weren't piranhas, they were Siamese fighting fish.

Groggy Dundee said...

Poison Ivy was another camp story. A kid goes to a summer camp that's completely overrun by apparently sentient poison ivy. One of the campers has a really smelly cologne that scares away the ivy. The only problem - it attracts a "tornado" of mosquitos!

I actually thought that story was creepy, since people actually die (off-page) and the slow build-up is well done. Definitely the best of this collection.

forgotten sin said...

the REAL plot to Something Fishy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AoJWUo2FDc

Mission Inc said...

Holy shit yes!!!!

Been waiting eons for this one.

I was so ecstatic that I didn't even read the entry yet just so I could post this comment.

Thank you Troy. May the weekly force be with and stay with you.

Robin said...

What.

Groggy Dundee said...

Speakly purely for myself, I'm not sure how I feel about Troy doing Horrorland. I don't feel any nostalgia towards books I've read in the past three years. Not that I won't continue following this blog until Troy throws his PC across the room.

Revengeofevan said...

No, wait, its going to be Triple Header 1 next, then "it came from ohio" and then something else...

David T. said...

Next are reviews of the TV show adaptations, of course.

troy steele said...

Next is obv me rewriting Wikipedia entries on Goosebumps books and editing my jokes back in for a change

Anonymous said...

Next is the Blogger Beware retrospective of his favourite entries which he doesn't remember any more.

(On a HorrorLand note, that they're recent actually makes me more excited, as they're clearer in my mind. And I'm sure quite a few commentators here haven't read them at all.)

TJ said...

Next Week is R.L stine's twitter, right? Lot's of gems in there

Anonymous said...

http://www.scribd.com/doc/32358427/Classroom-Kit-how-to-write-like-R-L-Stine-s-goosebumps

Someone put this kit on how to write like R.L. Stine on scribd. I think that the followers of Blogger Beware would have a field day with this one.

Anonymous said...

Thanks (: keep it up !

Ryan Ferneau said...

Cool link! Now we know that Nutter Butter Breaks should last 13 minutes.

Ryan Ferneau said...

Cool link! Now we know that Nutter Butter Breaks should last 13 minutes.

troy steele said...

I should not have waited until the last minute to actually look at this crazy thing. Don't wait up tonite, folks!

Groggy Dundee said...

I wonder which response is appropriate:

1. It's a Slappy book, Troy, what did you expect?

2. It's got a holographic picture of a three-headed monster on the cover, Troy, what did you expect?

3. It's a Goosebumps book, Troy, what did you expect?

troy steele said...

I thought it was obvious that the next book reviewed is Animorphs

tj said...

Well, revenge of the living dummy is pretty damn awful.

Anonymous said...

I'm curious, Troy: On average, how long would you say you spend actually writing a review?

Anonymous said...

I don't think RotLD is awful, unless that's your baseline for a Living Dummy book (which it could well be). Some parts of it are slightly worse than the norm, but other parts I think are a bit better. That said, I barely remember it now.

tj said...

It was a disspaointg start to the horrorland series. Unlikeable main charector, plot holes up the ass, and slappy doesn't do jack shit til the end.

Groggy Dundee said...

I'm guessing tonight will, indeed, be a bummer and not summer.

Anonymous said...

Uh oh

getting dangerously close to a no-update monday!

troy steele said...

Blogger Beware isn't really back until there's a late entry, duh doy

tj said...

Damn it, he's right

Mission Inc said...

I don't know why you guys are so surprised; I'm more surprised he actually stuck to his weekly update routine for two weeks.

Groggy Dundee said...

Not surprised. Just vaguely disappointed.

Anonymous said...

Troy, if you delay the update just 34 more hours, you can claim that your updating is concurrent with The Rapture

Which is still earlier than expected for you, so that'd be cool

Groggy Dundee said...

Why is the world ending on Saturday?

Anonymous said...

The same reason the world is ever ending: Because some dumbass with a publicity addiction says so (and it's happened plenty of times before). Let's just hope it's as good a laugh as the Great Disappointment of 1844. Troy's review certainly will be, even if we received a disappointment of our own this Monday.

Ryan Ferneau said...

The "EVERY Monday" part was a lie?

Anonymous said...

No luck with the update today, either?

Anonymous said...

So I just read Claws and Night Of The Giant Everything (spoiler: It doesn't actually take place at night). I thought Claws was pretty good, actually; the premise was something kids could actually relate to. Less so NotGE; what kind of a kid doesn't want a free cookie?

On the other hand, it looks like the Hall Of Horrors line won't have any intertextual continuity at all, so it's essentially a reboot back to classic Goosebumps, which I think is a shame.

Groggy Dundee said...

Troy got Raptured.

Anonymous said...

Troy is so pathetic that he can't even survive a fictional apocalypse. Way to tie that cordless phone around you, Troy!

tj said...

@ annony: Really? I'm happy we're back to basic goosebumps, i perferd the regular stories over the storyline stuff myself.

Anonymous said...

There is no Blog!

Henry Kensington said...

"Here's to a Blogger Beware season that's all summer, no bummer!"

...

"... Too bad it's not summer yet." *pops on cool shades*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mR3jnW2kcUs

Anonymous said...

tj: Well, to each their own, I guess, but even when I was a kid, it was the hints of continuity in things like Return To HorrorLand that got me excited; I liked the idea of Goosebumps taking place in a connected world. Hopefully Troy will be passing judgement on that concept soon; I must admit that the execution has been somewhat lacking.

Robin said...

:(

NotSoAnonymous said...

I thought the execution was fine until the last 2 books. The story really fell apart imo once they were all in horrorland, my guesses are either too many charaters to keep track of/write about or the big reveal at the end was not that well thought out/kind of lame. Then again the reveals are always kind of lame.

Justin'sBeaver said...

@NotSoAnonymous: I agree

Anonymous said...

Maybe Stine should have a go at one-off crossovers. Like Slappy wearing the Haunted Mask, or... huh, I can't really think of any other recurring Goosebumps characters except Monster Blood, and that's not a character.

I guess that leads to my next question to the populace at large. What Goosebumps book that doesn't have a sequel yet do you think should have a sequel?

Mission Inc said...

None of them. The basic problem with sequels is that they're largely unwarranted. Like, there's no point at all for a lot of them to even happen. People just make them because it "rocks" to have a sequel or something. There has unfortunately been at least one crossover happening in the 2000 series, and that was just nasty. Really gimmicky. In terms of Goosebumps, I'd rather read a story where the crappiness is contained within that story, rather than having to read or be reminded of that same crappiness all over again in another story.

tj said...

i liked the last few horrorland books in arc 1, especailly panic park, which is now one of my fave GB books ever.

I don't want anymore sequels, or gimmicks, just shitty care please

forgotten sin said...

The problem with sequels is that for the most point it's "lather, rinse, repeat" with the plot. The same dummy doing the same mischief. The same evil camera taking evil pictures. The same car wash costing the same 5 dollars.

Spongey444 said...

I knew it was too good to be true

Robin said...

Mission Inc. - I think you make a good point. A lot of sequels are unwarranted and stupid. Look at the "Home Alone" and "Beethoven" movies, which were popular among us '90s kids. I'll admit that the first sequel of each was decent, but each has two or three additional movies (most of which went straight to DVD) that seemed pointless.

If I had to choose, I would want to see a sequel to "How I Learned To Fly", since I love how the kid secretly kept his flying ability and let his rival deal with the stress of fame and public attention.

Anonymous said...

Any of you checked out "Dune Read's Goosebumps"?
Its a podcast/ illegal audiobooks of Goosebumps books he updates pretty randomly but it can be a bit fun, he comments on some of the stupidity of the books at times and is sometimes annoying but also makes it a lot more tolerable to get through. Kinda fun if you're nostalgic.

http://drg.nerdi.net/

Anonymous said...

So, uh...new update? :)

...

:(

Anonymous said...

Are you freaking serious? This can't be that difficult. I'm sorry you had an existential blogging crisis, but in case you haven't noticed, we're STILL LAUGHING. God, like three posts and then WHOOPS NO MORE. This is ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvrCoDZUwRg&feature=feedu

A Goosebumps video by Lemon Demon (Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny)

A love song in titles

Dan said...

Huge, huge ups (three of them!) on the Givers link.

forgotten sin said...

Troy? Where for art thou?

Groggy Dundee said...

Bummer.

Anonymous said...

Troy noooooooo. Come back.

Anonymous said...

It always scares me when Troy stops approving comments. "Maybe he's really gone this time," I think to myself.

What a horrible world that would be.

Anonymous said...

man, I can't wait for you to get to the CYOGB books. I wanted to murder those things.

I felt like RL was just bored one day "Oops your dead. Oops you fell down a well filled with wet slime, Oops your a plant/mutant/monster/dead again. Oops the story ended, that was $5 well spent - Love RL all the way to the bank Stine

PS Eff you Chris Pike, this is a family show. That's how we do it downtown.

Marcel in Canada said...

Ok, I just read Revenge of the Living Dummy and I can see why you don't want to review it. There is a scene where the family's luggage gets set on fire right in front of them and their first thought is that it must be special effects. Also the main character gets pushed down a flight of stairs by her cousin. Good luck with this one

Anonymous said...

god


damn



it

Anonymous said...

More like "all bummer, no summer"

Anonymous said...

Current 2011 statistics:

% of summer complete: ~6%
% of summer that is bummer: ~6%

( margin of error plus or minus 2% )

Anonymous said...

Well, it's been a good two weeks of updates..a shame there weren't more, but looks like that's the best we can get.

Sara said...

These posts are amazing. :) I have a blog with a few other people, and we review Goosebumps, Sweet Valley High, and Babysitter's Club Books. We obviously have a lot to live up to with sites like yours out there.

James said...

Troy update you lazy brilliant bastard.

Lazylaces said...

Oh... OK?

A33Jim said...

In Soviet Russia, aluminum foils you.

tj said...

I knew it was too good to be true

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

Still alive, I see.

Book 5 of the Hall of Horrors series (entitled "Don't Scream!") recently went up on Amazon. Odds are we will see the last volume listed around August. And then who knows... if Stine finishes his adult horror novel (he's currently a little under halfway through it, according to his Twitter feed), we might get word on if he plans to write even more Goosebumps books.

Even if he doesn't, they doggone better well keep up doing the Classic Goosebumps reissues. (And then give the same treatment to all the other Goosebumps books.)

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

David T. said...

There is no Troy.

forgotten sin said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=angi1vwUkQc

Anonymous said...

i notice you took around 72 hours to put "EVERY" in there

Lazylaces said...

I guess it's true what they say, beggars can't be is a penny earned.

Lazylaces said...

I guess it's true what they say, beggars can't be is a penny earned.

Anonymous said...

Troy! You missed the most shocking and horrifying thing about Suckers! The protagonist is... thirteen!

Shock and horror aside, I recently bought nearly all the original Goosebumps books and am currently suffering through them... I can say without any doubt that More Tales is really, really terrible. I feel your pain Troy.

But the Twist is:
And then the terrible books cost fifty cents.

Anonymous said...

I actually thought that the revenge of the living dummy was actually good. And I found out that the main charater and other charaters are much likable. 9 out of ten stars.

goosebumps horrorland 1 fantastic.

Anonymous said...

You're horrible. What is wrong with you?

Mission Inc said...

Stop not updating. Yeah, yeah, I know, you're gonna come back with "STOP DROP AND ROLLL!!!" cuz that's just the kind of humor that I like about yours. I dunno, man, I'd probably be tolerating this lull much better if you hadn't pulled the "I'm actually going to update weekly and to prove it, I actually did do that for two weeks" routine on us. Just tell yourself that it's just (real life) a book, and let's get kraken.

Anonymous said...

i'm the person who said that they really liked revenge of the living dummy. the reasons i like these books are because that they are so bizarre that that's what make them good. person who said whats wrong with me whats wrong with you. no offense

Anonymous said...

I'm the one who likes revenge of the living dummy. I am creating a fake name it is going to be benny. I will be reporting on all the goosebumps books. so you guys can (trash)cheer me on.

Anonymous said...

Jesus, don't you people have any real lives outside of this blog? Get a hobby already, or better yet, a job.

Anonymous said...

benny here. excuse me im not old enough to get a job

Anonymous said...

Yes, because writing a single comment on a blog consumes every waking hour of the day, or at least those we aren't dedicating to slowly and obsessively reading each and every single post. This comment itself is the fruit of many hours of hard labour. Are you truly telling me you can't appreciate this, Comment #100? The sweat and tears I pour into this computer keyboard?!

Groggy Dundee said...

I have plenty to do aside from this blog. That doesn't mean I can't spend 2 minutes a day looking for a new post.

Boomtax said...

I have a hobby! =D
I painted some Space marines WHILE reading this update. =O =O =O

Jenn said...

I keep seeing these on ebay and collector's sites for an arm and a leg! Just because it has its original little knickknack, I'm not paying 2-3 times the price of the book alone lol

Anonymous said...

So, a day or two ago I read The Five Masks Of Dr. Screem. The plot is pretty blatantly an excuse to shuffle settings rather than have events logically follow, and there's a cop-out near the end which is clearly because R.L. thought he was using too many pages in what is still a very short book even as an extended edition, and the ending creates a huge plot hole... but other than all that, I actually think it's not bad.

Anonymous said...

Sweet heck, this blog is more dead then RL Stines career. When in Horrorland is Troy going to update?

Martin Harwood said...

I miss you Troy. And I miss this blog. Please return.

Anonymous said...

I'm getting a little tired of the "It's not Blogger Beware without delays in updates" joke. These delays of two months or more, after almost every single update, are ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

benny here. thank you comment 102

Anonymous said...

I just noticed on the front page, there's quotes around every.

Troy, you dog you

Groggy Dundee said...

I've gotten a full-time (indeed, overtime) job since Anonymous's comment. Time for him to go take a long walk off the short peer.

pogg said...

my favorite goosebumps book is i live in your basment

pogg said...

my all time favorite goosebumps book is i live in your basement whats yours everybody especially you troy seeing as you hate most of these books i have got to like one ps. BEE THROWING! BEE THROWING!
BEE THROWING! BEE THROWING!

Bonertown Mcgee said...

I hate you like I hate my dad, troy

Anon e Mouse Jr. said...

Dude. Are you trying to get all twelve books read and reviewed before you post any of them or something?

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

James said...

Dammit Troy, at least stop approving comments so we can all pretend you've died/gone on an adventure/been crowned King of Narnia! Why TEASE us so?

Anonymous said...

Hey I am loving the blog! I grew up here in South Africa and in my childhood the Goosebumps books were known as "Grillers" (which means something that gives you fear.

http://springbokboeke.co.za/html/grillers_rlstine_goosbumps.html#Monsterbloed

that site shows some of the books, the regular books and series 2000 were mixed together, sort of.

DarkfireTaimatsu said...

Here's a nice post not about Troy updating, just to amuse you other readers.

Today's entry in Stupid Coincidence Magazine:
I picked up a book about werewolves at one of Borders' closing sales a little bit ago. I love stuff like that; The Zombie Survival Guide, all of that sort of thing. Anyway, this one is about werewolves. And according to the inside info, publishing date and all that, you know? The image on the cover is credited to having come from iStockPhoto. I think it all ties to this blog nicely, don't you?

The specific book is When Werewolves Attack, for those curious, and it's roughly the size of a Goosebumps book itself. However, the author doesn't appear to be a pseudonym for either R.L. Stine or Troy, so so much for that theory, eh? =3

Anonymous said...

http://gunshowcomic.com/429

Instantly thought of your blog upon seeing this.

N*gro Jim said...

More like "all summer, no update!"

Groggy Dundee said...

I wonder if Troy could get this blog published as a book. You could probably get a decent audience since '90s nostalgia is coming back.

troy steele said...

I would love to rejigger these posts into a funnier book-length guide, but not until someone pays me to do so. Publishers, get at me &c

Anonymous said...

Yeah we can call it "READER BEWARE, YOU'RE IN FOR AN UPDATE... NOT!"

Anonymous said...

Ha! Sick burn!

Troy, please come back with your updates. The world is a darker, less snarky place without them.

Groggy Dundee said...

Big-ass bummer.

troy steele said...

Fashion faux pas alert: Never share whine after Labor Day!

Groggy Dundee said...

How about some bheer?

Anonymous said...

I was growing concerned that the new books were so bad that reading them killed you.

Anonymous said...

I was growing concerned that your posts were so late and awesome that chuck norris had to kill you

Groggy Dundee said...

Troy, now I'm reading your blog at work and feeling nostalgic for college. Getting nostalgic for a nostalgia blog - how sad is that?

Anonymous said...

Think you could maybe get an update in during October?

Anonymous said...

Blog viewer beware...You're in for no update! Muh wa haha hahaaah!

Groggy Dundee said...

You always have the option of doing that remaining Triple Header book if you can't get through Horrorland, Troy. Just saying.

but the twist is... said...

Have we discussed the obvious fact that Troy and RL Stine are the same person? Because that seems like something we should probably discuss.

Anonymous said...

It may well be. Could somebody map Troy's hiatuses against the release of Goosebumps HorrorLand books?

but the twist is... said...

I would say that that was too much effort, but considering Morbidiculous' hobby of finding all the references in the posts, or Troy's hobby of writing the posts, maybe not.

Anonymous said...

I've been reading through the old comments sections, and there is a recurring trend. People bitch, bitch, bitch, then come back to the next post and bitch some more.

No matter what we say, Troy, we all love you. We just have fucked up ways of expressing it.

So try and give us a new update before RL Stine kicks the bucket, mkay?

Anonymous said...

This blog is incredible. If you want to update you can, if you don't that's fine too. Thanks for giving me so many laughs though.

Spongey444 said...

Stine is playing MORE Horrorland books, with the "Most Wanted" mini series coming up. One of which is "Son of Slappy"

Place YOUR BETS, WHICH 12 YEAR DID HE KNOCK UP?

Groggy Dundee said...

But The Twist Is:
Slappy's son is from the male protagonist of Slappy New Year!

Anonymous said...

I'm seriously hoping Son Of Slappy is a joke, or i'm gonna scream for 13 hours straight, or until I pass out. Lemme just check to see if it's true.
...........................
Oh explicitory! Why?!?!
....Also, I bet a hundred worthless imaginary quid on Amy. Only because that's a protagonist who's name I actually remember, and she was from the second Slappy book.

Jess said...

Oh Groggy Dundee, that would be the best thing EVER

Doesn't anyone want to bet the bride? Guess you could go Mary Ellen too, hey if Child's Play could do it...

Also I'm gonna guess that "Most Wanted" actually means "Most Wanted to Never Happen"

Groggy Dundee said...

That Inception joke in the Slappy's Nightmare post seems pretty prescient right now.

Damian Garcia said...

Is there going to be an update anytime soon? I always check just in case, but nothing's happened yet :(

Packer Fan said...

Why is that girl complaining so much about living in River Falls? There's kind of a big mall about 45 minutes west of there. Yes River Falls is a town on the west border of Wisconsin near the Twin Cities. My scientist(!) uncle lives there which is why I had to comment.

Jacob Dunstan said...

Are you sure that by David, you really mean David Troy? Kudos on this superior entry.

Anonymous said...

benny here. Troy its been over a year when are you going to put up Revenge of the living dummy. Please come back.

james lafayette said...

when r u comin' back????????????? PS! IT'S 2013! YOU HAVEN'T MADE AN ENTRY IN A YEAR! oh, and awesome Saiemesê fighting fish!

Anonymous said...

That Shell Shock story reminds me of this joke:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, 13...13....13...13."
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting. "14...14...14...14...".